I am doing it again - new year's resolutions

I've been blogging for a year now, and it has not kept me from cheating on my diet or exercising more. It has made it painfully obvious that I need to get a spine and some guts and just do what I need to do. Therefore, here are my new year's resolutions:
1) I will finally get the ball rolling and loose one pound a week, every week for the year 2008.
2) I will exercise for a minimum of one hour, at least six days a week, until I reach my goal weight (130 lbs).
3) I will go back to school and make sure that I am enrolled before the summer of 2008 is over.
4) I will start an investment account by the end of January and contribute $50 minimum a month.
5) I will take 1/2 of my salary to create the cash flow for my company.
6) I will take 1/2 of my salary to pay $6k on my student loans (with interest and penalties will probably cover $4.5K of the actual bill.
7) I will actually join the human race and make 1 new friend a week for the whole year of 2008.
8) I will take two trips this year: one to US, one cruise.
9) I will learn to enjoy myself on EVERYTHING I do.
10) I will actually revise my list every month to make sure I am on track.
What are your resolutions? Happy NEW Year and keep trying.

No soda - no problem

I had a soda on Sunday, and by coincidence, on Thursday realized that I had not had one in a while. Now I am doing it on purpose. That was just ONE change on my diet, and guess what? The difference is almost as big as when I quit smoking.
I had been feeling sluggish and tired. I was blaming my new work schedule (1AM to 10 AM) but I was sleeping more and better than before and I was still tired. Then this week came and I realized that I feel energetic and able to survive the eight hours without a nap and in very good spirits. I am working better and keeping track of all the tasks. I'm doing better than ever.
If this is only because of soda, can you imagine what will happen when I break free from other bad habits? How about when I start eating clean all the time? I am looking forward to the new year and now to a new me. I can see the possibilities. I welcome them. Keep trying.

Actual accomplishments in 2007

The actual accomplishments for this year are:
1) I take full responsibility for what ever happens to me. I don't fool myself with those delusions, I know I got me into this and I have to get out.
2) I quit smoking for good, and so did my roommate - which makes it a lot easier to quit when there is no temptation around.
3) I am aware that there is a better way, and I am working towards it.
Keep trying, look for your accomplishment.

Chritmass day - a day to meditate

I have been a very bad girl for the last two weeks, and it is starting to show. But as the NEW Year approaches, I am taking stock of my life and it is time to clean house. I am literally going around the house cleaning and scrapping projects and streamlining my life and my diet. Hopefully, more on that later. Merry X-mass!

What to do with the disappointment

Hi. I have not written in a while, because I have been too busy stuffing my face with every goodie I can find. So it is with great shame that I admit that I am now back to the worst number on the scale: 200. There, I said it. They say that truth should set you free. Actually, it feels more like OOOOOOOOOUCH!!!!!!!!
This was not really good for my ego today. After a day of bad news and worse news, where the only good thing that happened is that my sister and the clan are here on a short visit, I did not need the talking scale at the local supermarket to print that horrible number on a ticket. I am humiliated, but more importantly, I am angry. At myself for eating without measuring the consequence and dropping all exercise.
So, the best thing that God did was one day in front of the other. Emergency measures are needed. Lots of water, raw veggies and exercise are required. Wish me luck, it is after all the middle of Christmas in Puerto Rico. Keep trying!

Loosing weight is a never ending battle

As I sit here on my break, and analyze my eating habits, my exercise and just my general lifestyle, I've come upon a thought. Why is loosing weight such a hard thing to do? I watch the shows on TV, I plan my meals, I read the books. I understand that I did not get to be this big overnight (even though it feels that way). Yet I want to loose the weight as quickly as possible without having those dreaded skin folds that need to be removed with surgery.
In my opinion, this is a big proposition. I don't even know if they are mutually exclusive. I believe that if I loose more than a pound a week, I will have skin folds. But I would love to loose three to five pounds a week. In my delusion, I honestly think that it can be done safely. I must be loosing my mind.
I am planning my strategy and starting next week I will let you in on all the details. Wish me luck and KEEP trying.

Accountability does not make weight loss easier

So, here I am, many months after I started this. Not only have I not lost any weight, I gained five pounds. I let life get in the way and ate my way out of some difficult times. Guess what? They still hurt. My family members are still sick, my life is not exactly the way I want it.
But something happened in the middle of this hormonal time of the month for me. Clarity emerged. I am 100% responsible for my life, which means, I am 100% responsible for what is going on and specially, how I feel about it. I need to stop moping and get going. I need to improve my existence one day at a time until I achieve certain goals and can move on to bigger and greater things. I have to get out of this because I have the power to change this. All change happens in one second: that is how long it took for me to say "I do" a long time ago. That was how long it took for my life to change when I lost my last pregnancy. That is how long it takes to make a commitment to better your life.
I have been smoke free for almost a year now. I CAN DO THIS.

New beginnings

I now have a Myspace, although I have to work on it because it takes forever to load. I have the coolest pics of the last trip I took and I am spending some time in fixing my "online image".
I started working the graveyard shift at work this week. I have to be honest with you, I love it. It gives me the best hours of the day: it is cool, not hot, the dogs are quiet and the volume of calls is not psychotic. I enjoy actually breathing in between calls and having a clear head from one situation to the next. And yes, I also love having my computer on and working on my stuff when I can. Also, I can file my reports on real time instead of waiting until the end of shift to do so.
I am also cleaning and de-cluttering my house since I moved some furniture around. And finally, I am de-cluttering my life. There are many things that are not necessary in my life to be happy, and the less of that I have, the happier I will be. My efforts are now on my health, my prosperity and my life. No time for losers, arrogant idiots or wannabes. It is time for me to concentrate on ME and give the best of me to my family and friends.

Strenght for days

Some days, your life is not going the way you want to: family members are not healthy, money is tight, weather is bad... what are you supposed to do?
First of all, you have to understand that you are responsible for your life. For those of you who have seen the Secret, you might understand this. For the rest of us, it is very simple. It is not necessarily your fault that your family member is sick and the weather is bad, but YOUR response to this situation is entirely up to you.
In Puerto Rico right now, I have two people in my life with life threatening conditions, it has been raining non stop for two and a half days, and I am financially broke. I have two options: I can either sit and sulk or I can enjoy my days and send my positive thoughts to those who are sick so that they don't give up. And the weather helps me too because I have not purchased an air conditioner for my office, and today work is going to be pleasant.
What circumstances surround you? What are you thinking, doing, planning around those circumstances. Be a positive influence in your family and friend's life. Keep trying.

After owning it for over a year, I finally updated my space

I signed in to myspace a long time ago. Today, I finally decided I needed to update my presence in the web. That means, that I need to update this thing here, and also, that I needed to create my facebook and update myspace. It has taken me the last few hours just to create a slide show and have a background, but slowly but surely I am making it happen. Now, if only I could link both of these things together, I would be a happy camper.

It has been a while

Yes, life sometimes gets in the way, and you forget to handle those things that might make you happy but are not really necessary. It has been a few weeks since I write at all. My journals are empty, my blog has been abandoned. Things don't seem as important. There is a reason for this.
A few weeks ago a personal acquaintance discovered a 500 glucose level on his blood. Thanks to good diet and medication, glucose levels went back to normal. For the last three weeks, he has been able to control it with diet and some exercise. He now walks to work every day (1/2 mile), he runs some errands on foot, and then he walks back home on foot. On his days off, he might join us for our three mile walk. We all went walking on Monday and even though somewhere between my big toes and my nails, I am bleeding, we walk all three miles without any major concerns.
But after the big scare and the possible lifestyle change, I find out that the most important man in my life has leukemia. The way he is talking, he might have a couple of years left do to other complications. I am very upset, but also hopeful. Every day we have him here is one day we beat the odds. He is happy he is not under any painful treatment right now. And I understand that after you have a certain age you really don't want to interfere with the natural order of things. But even though my brain understands him perfectly, my heart does not care. We want him here for as long as possible. That has been a little hard.
Given the circumstances, I decided to do a little research on both diabetes and leukemia. Maybe that is the motivation I need to start writing again. We'll see. Keep trying.

OK: I could not admit I had failed

I am back! The last two weeks were a test of my will to actually loose weight. After getting hit with personal tragedies for the last 6 weeks, I realized that now I have to take better care of myself than ever before. If for no other reason, so that I can survive the months ahead.
My ability to stay away from chocolate is nonexistent. But lately I have been eating more at home than ever before. I am actually eating more salmon, and I actually see fruits and vegetables on my plate on most days. I am however, still drinking a few sodas a week and I am eating chocolate every time I feel anxious, which is pretty much every day it seems. In fact, if I spend a couple of days without it, I start acting like a junkie. I know I am a chocoholic, but lately, it has turned into a scary behavior change.
But I am back on track. I plan on walking tonight after work in order to release the stresses of the day.
Will tell you tomorrow.

Women, sports and Steroids

This week, the story in sports is a certain track and field star who returned her medals because of steroid use. I don't know all the particulars and I don't care. My questions have to do with other things. I wonder how does the use of these medications affect the life of this athlete later. There is a lot said about men and the side effects of steroids on them. I have not seeing a lot on side effects on women, if they are different.
The second question I have is why. This athletes are already superior in many ways. Why they want this troublesome edge is beyond me.
My third question is about the effect of steroid use in Women's sports. The big tickets are left for men sports. The "cheating" of some performers is not having a positive impact on our attempts of improving circumstances for women's sports.
I have to be honest with you. There are a lot of things I will not do in order to improve the way I look. Putting my life at risk in search for the quick fix is one of them. I hope more women are responsible enough to excel without drugs, prescribed or otherwise.

Ramblings: I'm tired but I have to keep trying

I am tired of watching what I eat and trying to exercise every day. I am tired of seeing other people not try hard enough and loose 10 pounds in a week. I am tired of busting my ass. But I have to keep trying, learning and practicing, because I want to loose 30 pounds by the end of the year. If Oprah got on the best shape of her life at 50, I can do it at 40. Keep trying.

Motivation: Exercise and good health will help your soul

Today I spent the day talking to a brain professional (as in psychology) and the one thing that she kept bringing up is the importance of good food but more importantly, exercise. Those endorphins really help keep you happy and healthy. Also, if you are not depressed, your body is not depressed, and you avoid disease. So if there is no other reason to exercise or eat right, I just gave you one more reason.
Keep trying.

Nutrition: do what works for you

Due in part by recent events in my surroundings, a lot of the conversations I've had recently with friends and family relate to different diet programs: the low carb, the no carb, the salad diet, the grapefruit, the high carb, the Mediterranean... the bottom line is that people have to do lifestyle changes and not one particular diet.
Take me for example: I could do the low carb diet for about a month, after that, bread would start calling me and I will hear that call. I love bread, and chocolate. What am I supposed to do? Simply put, I have to listen to my body, and instead of eliminating any one food or any one source, all I do is cut portions. So last night I had penne and meat sauce. It was delicious, I wish I could have two plate fulls of the stuff. I decided my figure would thank me later and ate one plate and it was not full. The thing was to have a taste of what I wanted, without overindulging. That seems to work for me. I lost one pound last week. If I loose one pound a week until the end of the year, that will be 14 pounds by the end of the week. If I loose two, that will be 28 which is closer to my immediate goal of loosing 30 by year's end. Let's see how it goes. Choose to eat healthy and keep trying.

Ramblings: how things affect people

Like I mentioned in the beginning, I had a family member that went through a health scare last week. Today it is the first week this person has to live with a diagnosis that affects 246 million people worldwide, diabetes. More tests are needed to figure out if it was an isolated incident or if medication will be needed for the rest of this person's life.
But it never ceases to amaze me how people react to info like this. His daughter, who had decided two weeks before that she needed more exercise, closed up and did not talk to anyone for a couple of days. His wife sounds like a military officer, barking orders about what he can and cannot do. His parents freaked out and the male family members were all very concerned. There is only one thing most of these people have in common: they are all taking a second look at what they eat and their lifestyle choices. You should too. Keep trying.

Motivation: A health crisis in the family

Someone I care about went through a health crisis this weekend, which made me analyze my own eating habits. I cut all the sodas off and watch the candy. I am trying to eat 5 small meals a day, I am still not really good at that, but it is really important to eat the correct foods and exercise. Last week I walked for 40 minutes, 5 days. This week, I have walked twice already, missed Monday because of the family crisis. But I want this to work, even if I don't loose one pound, at least, I have my health. More later, gotta get some sleep.

Motivation: attract what you want to your life

OK. I am a big believer of the Law of Attraction. I am also a big wimp and have only used it on small things. But, if I want to apply it to something important, I have to start now. So, instead of concentrating on loosing weight, I have to concentrate on being healthy, looking sexy, strong muscles and a lean body. Do you think I can do it?
Stay tuned to this weekend, when we will post the actual picture of what I look like right now, with all the measurements and the goals for the end of the year.
Keep trying.

Exercise: is it worth it?

Every day I wake up and all I want is to get 30 minutes of exercise in. And on most days, I do it. But the weight stays the same. Some months I loose inches on the top and gain on the bottom. Some times it's the other way around. The question begs asking: is it worth it?
The answer is obviously YES. When you exercise you are helping your body in many ways. Your bones get stronger, your muscles shape up. Your heart gets stronger, your lungs get cleaner. You have to remember I use to smoke. It takes seven years for your lungs to clean all that crap. I want to cut that in half. I have my work cut out for myself.
Do what you feel comfortable doing, and if you try something new, share it with us.
Keep trying.

Nutrition: don't skip any meals

I eat five meals a day. I have breakfast, lunch and dinner and two snacks. In the menu today:
Breakfast: one egg omelet with potatoes O'Brien, lean ham and a splash of cheese
Snack 1: watermelon and cantaloupe slices with a certain Italian ham I love (very salty)
Lunch: 3 ounces of lean pork with salad
Snack 2: bowl of strawberries
Dinner: 3 ounces of pink salmon with vegetables
Is it the healthiest menu? No, but what I do, in order to eat everything I like is to control the portions and drink a ton of water. As the days go on and I find new things to try, the menus will get better. The bottom line, right now for me, it is the ultimate sacrifice to not skip a meal. I have hypoglycemia, I am not supposed to skip meals. Yet I do it ALL the time. So to me, it is more important right now to learn to NOT SKIP any meals. Besides, I don't believe in eliminating everything. I think all in moderation is better. What do you think? Keep trying.

Ramblings: why wont you be my friend?

Today's message is for someone specific and hopefully he will never see it but at least I got the chance to say it. I am a good person, and a great friend. I am sincere, loyal, honest, smart, relentless, and lovable. I am also annoying, relentless, sincere and honest to the point of painful. It is true I am all those things, but you will never have a friend that loves you as much as I do or cares about you so much that she is willing to loose your friendship but will be honest enough so that you never look or act like a fool in front of others. This is why I am more than a little obsessed with reminding you that you seem arrogant and smart ass to all who see you or hear you speak. I know that you are honestly enthusiastic about certain things, and a downright believer of others. I can't be like you when it comes to your job, I don't have the faith you do in the future of my country. But I admire your faith and determination. And even though you don't want to deal with this now, I am still your friend, and I will be here whenever you need me. Amen, end of speech.

Motivation: a trip to Europe

Hi. Today we found out, my daughter and I are going to Spain for two weeks next summer. Obviously, I do not want to look like a baboon when I get there.
Last year, my daughter and I took a school trip to Greece and Italy. I only managed to loose 30 pounds for that trip. I looked like a whale and I refused to be in the pictures.
Now we have nine months to take care of this, so now I have all the motivation I need to loose more than 30 pounds. I have the added incentive of wanting to be comfortable on the plane seat. I am already afraid of flying. Why compound it with a sore butt from a long flight in an uncomfortable seat?
Now I have the motivation, all I need is a plan. Keep trying.

Exercise: how much is too much?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I did not want to exercise last week because my knee hurt. My knee hurt because I gained three pounds. I gained three pounds because I had an injury (on my knee). The argument can go around in circles for eternity. It is kind of the chicken or the egg argument. What came first? What is the relation to the original question? The reason why I injured my leg was because I exercise too long, too hard and too much. So how much is too much?
When your body tells you to stop, you should listen intently. Is it really telling you to stop or are you looking for an excuse to quit? If you are feeling pain... it is telling you to stop. If you feel tired... you are looking for an excuse, unless you are fainting... which means you overdid it.
Just listen to your body and analyze the answer. Deep down inside, you know the difference. Oh, and by the way, I walked three miles yesterday and my knee does not hurt today, which means I am going walking again tomorrow.

Nutrition: love strawberries

Even low carb dieters like strawberries. They are sweet, specially when really red. But their level of simple sugars is low enough that it does not affect you no matter what diet you are in. To be honest, I don't really care if they are good for you or not. All I know is that I just finished a three mile walk that I had not being able to finish in the last two weeks, and now I am sitting in front of the TV watching one of my favorite movies (Last Holiday), and instead of popcorn, I am having a huge plate of fresh strawberries.
For all of you out there, keep trying.

Ramblings: what is it about depression and chocolate?

I have a confession to make. I love chocolate. Sometimes I believe I will never be able to loose weight because I love chocolate more than I like the idea of loosing weight. I know I am healthy because I exercise, but whatever good I do to myself, I mess it up with my sick, lust for chocolate.
Mind you, I hate white chocolate. I believe that is just the fat you get from the chocolate with a hint of the taste. I look at it and I think it looks nasty and I can't eat it. I wish I could trick my mind to feel the same way about regular chocolate. But I am unable to resist the temptation. And don't get me started on dark chocolate... sinful.
The best time to enjoy chocolate is when I feel sad. What is it about chocolate and depression that your body automatically craves it when you are feeling sad? If someone can find the answer to this question, they will probably make millions, since I am not the only one with this connection.
Now I go to bed in order to avoid the chocolate in the refrigerator. Keep trying.

What is cortisol?

I have heard several "expert" opinions about Cortisol. Some think it is the answer to what is wrong with obese people. Others say that there is no reason to concern yourself with it. I want to know what Cortisol is and so I am not going to write a long message today. By the end of the week I will have an answer. If anyone wants to give their opinion, I would appreciate it.
Keep trying.

Exercise: everything counts

I walked five miles yesterday. It was not even hard. After two weeks of very little exercise, I went walking yesterday. I felt good. After that I did some leg exercises, arm exercises. I did not follow any strategy or routine. What I wanted to do was just exercise, to see how I felt. And the weird thing was that I did not wake up sore or tired. Actually, it was the first time in two weeks that I did not wake up with back pain. It was a glorious morning.
So what is the message I want you to get from this? Do whatever you can, whenever you can. Don't go to sleep without doing something. Even if all you do today is twenty sit-ups or twenty push-ups. It is more than what you did yesterday. Add a 1/2 mile walk tomorrow. Spend twenty minutes on the stationary bike. Do something and keep trying.

Take care of your mental health

One of the great effects of exercise is that it releases endorphins. They make you feel happy, even if for a short while. Sometimes, we can't exercise as often as we like, and for those of us who suffer from mild cases of depression, the effects can be devastating. Not only do you feel guilty because you can't exercise, but you feel sad and it does not go away. If you are not careful, those sad feelings remain, for a long time.
For people who need or believe in medication, this is not a sermon or a request for you not to follow your doctor's orders. This is just for people that can control their mild depression with some form of exercise, proper diet and plenty of rest.
Take care of yourself. I know that most of the time, the experts say that you should not stop exercising. But if you have a serious disease, or simply you feel exhausted, take a day or two off. Be kind to yourself first and foremost. And whatever you do, don't overdo it. Everything in excess is bad. Moderation is the key to enjoying your whole life. Keep trying.

Ramblings: surprises in your life

We all go through stages in life. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are depressed. Other times we just want to crawl under a rock and sleep through the bad stuff. Today was a bad day. I've been unable to work for a week. My stomack is giving me a hard time. And a blast from the past had a horrible effect on my day.
So what should I do? No matter what kind of day you are having, you should savor the good, ignore the bad and move on. Tomorrow will be a better day, a brand new day that you can do whatever you want with it. In the end, it is not what happens that shape your life. It is how you react to things that shapes your life. Don't let life get the best of you. Do your best and move on. And whatever you do, keep trying.

Motivation: or lack thereof

I have a confession to make. This week, as far as my health goes, has been a complete disaster. First of all, the weekend I spent in bed, feeling sick and eating worse. Then, on Monday, I had to take a forced vacation (office equipment failure and I work from home). I figured that I should not waste all my time, so I started cleaning house and taking care of some projects. Now I have no phone and no voice (dirt killed my throat).
My exercise routine has also taken a beating. I walked two miles yesterday. That is all the exercise, except for the housework, I've been able to do all week. I am exhausted and cranky. The only good thing is that I am still drinking two litters of water a day. On the flip side, I am eating terribly.
But even when you mess up there are important lessons you can discover.
1) If you are too restrictive in your eating patterns, your body is only going to crave it more.
2) Every once in a while, you have to give your body a break to recover, be it from extreme exercise, or in this case, from extreme heat (yesterday we broke heat record).
3) It is not whether or not you fall down. YOU WILL! It is how you get up, dust yourself off and keep going that matters. So you ate a DING DONG (or the whole box). The important thing is that the next day you eat healthy and exercise 10 minutes extra for the rest of the week. Some days are easier than others. You have to be ready for anything. Me, my krytonite is chocolate (not cakes or candies) and ice cream. But the important thing is that I also have fruits and vegetables in my fridge and I am eating them every day. And little by little there will be more fruit and less crap. Keep trying.

Exercise: Housework?

I have not been able to exercise for a few days, medical reasons. But I have been doing a lot of cleaning today. I have done some light lifting and some sweeping and cleaning. My arms are sore and my waist has moved more than in some exercise routines. I am wondering, why do some stay at home women overweight if they spend their whole week doing this? Probably because they are also emptying their kid's plates and snacking instead of eating. I know when my daughter was really young, I did the same thing.
Trust me, heavy house cleaning is exercise. If you clean all day long and you watch what you eat you will see a difference. Remember: every little bit helps.

Nutrition: the importance of breakfast

I am not big on diets. I don't believe on any of them. What works for me is to make smaller meals and have a little of everything. This weekend was not very restful for me. I was sick all weekend. And then this morning I woke up like nothing happened. I even had energy. As I was standing in the kitchen, it hit me. I did not have an official breakfast at all during the weekend.
To me right now, it is not as important to eat extremely healthy. It is more important to make sure that I have some protein, some carbs, my vitamins, fruits and vegetables in every meal. So my breakfast might not look healthy to some people. But I have spent the longest part of the last twenty years NOT having breakfast, so actually eating breakfast is a bigger accomplishment. What do you think? Keep trying.

Ramblings: what is wrong with this picture?

I am drinking two litters of water a day. I am trying to stay away from soda and juice. This week I only had one serving of each. The only problem is that I am going to the lady's once an hour, every hour. It boils down to 19 times a day. That is not only abnormal, it is frustrating and obnoxious. It frustrates me, but at the same time, I lost five pounds of water weight in three days (I was 195 on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. On Tuesday I went back to 190. - By the way, I am not obsessed, I was shocked that I went up to 195 and I kept standing on the scale in the hope of seeing that number reduced). Here is the thing: I did the skin test and I am retaining enough water to leave a welt on my leg every time I test for water retention. Isn't drinking more water supposed to eliminate the water retention? What can I do now? Any suggestions?

Exercise: Walking is still my favorite

After trying to spice up the routine, today I had no time for anything, so I went for a walk. I drove to the beach and I enjoyed myself. There is a certain peace that comes when you walk. Ideas seem clearer when you walk. Life seems better.
This is a small post today. I am tired. But I am committed to work hard and reach my goals.

Motivation: unrelated events could serve as strong motivation

Today I found out that I am being asked for training for the next level at the company I work for. They sent me the study materials, which is a huge amount of info, but I am honored, proud and extremely happy that I have been considered for advancement.
Why would this serve as motivation? My job involves sitting at a desk at home for eight hours listening on the phone and interpreting conversations. This means that my job is sedentary and the way that it is structured, the breaks and everything is structured perfectly. During the colder months I can take my lunch hour and exercise, take a shower and have lunch. But now, in the summer months, it is too hot for that, so exercise has to happen before or after. Plus, you do not want to be a statistic. Normally, people that work sedentary positions gain weight. I intend to break free from that stereotype. I am working hard at it. I will let you know how that works out in the coming months. Meanwhile, wish me luck. I really want this promotion.

Apologies

I apologize for my disappearing act last week. I was in pain and after several days of discomfort, I went to the doctor for what we thought might be appendicitis. It was a false alarm. I was given a shot on my butt and sent home to take the weekend off. It was hard not to go to work, or work out, but I feel like a new woman today.
I just finished a 1 hour, 20 min. workout that did not feel like it. I walked for 40 minutes. I did a dance routine for 15, I did a 20 minutes upper body workout and spent 5 minutes doing Pilates. True, I will have to finish the Pilate's workout some time today, but I feel great and I am looking forward to going back to work strong, positive and pain free.
What does this mean? You have to keep trying!

Exercise: Powerful arms

I have been doing arm exercises for a while. I love the idea of wearing sleeveless shirts and dresses and show toned, sculpted arms. However, I find myself starring at that hanging area on the back of my arms (you know, the triceps). I am starting to see some progress. There are several exercises you can try. My favorite this month is the triceps extensions. I am working on this muscle confusion thing, where I do 100 with a 3 pound dumbbell. It is working, and I feel sexier already.
Keep in mind, I live in an island that sports 90 degree weather 350 days a year. Have to look good too, it is not all about the health you know. Well, I have to run, we have a thunderstorm and I have no battery for this computer. Keep trying.

Nutrition: Stay away from sodas

I am now in a dilemma. I love a certain coffee colored soda. I am 40 years old. I heard that soda eats up your bones. Now I have noticed two things:
If I drink soda before I go to sleep, I wake up with a backache
If I don't drink soda for a day, I wake up with minor pain.
That is not my only concern. My thumbs are hurting like a 90 year old with arthritis pain. Now I am scared. I don't want to get arthritis. I don't want to walk like an 80 year old person. My only logical escape is to knock soda out of my diet. This is not about the sugar or the calories, this has to do with my desperate attempt to keep my bones healthy.
Does this make any sense? If someone knows a nutritionist that can either confirm or deny my suspicion, please let me know. Thanks. Keep trying.

Ramblings: Happiness is not on a meal or on a bottle

Today I found happiness while reading an art magazine. I used to love to draw when I was young. It made the time fly even at the worst of times (when someone died or things were bad). I have abandoned my thrills after a certain age. I no longer go to museums or mix colors or paint or draw. I've been meaning to, but life keeps getting in the way.
But today I decided to read the current issue of an art magazine, and I have kept that grin on my face for most of the day. It was like rediscovering an old flame or reaquainting myself with an old friend. It felt good and comfortable. I want to explore that feeling for a little longer.
Eating has never been something that makes me happy for hours, specially if it was something "bad" for me. Drinking has never had a great effect on me, and pills have never delivered on the promisse of joy I've expected. So maybe the solution is to look for that thing that makes you happy and hold on to it for dear life, specially when life gets in the way.
Keep trying.

Weekly Stats

Weight: 190 LBS.
Height: 5' 3 1/2"
Monday: Walked 3 miles
Wednesday: Walked 3 miles
Thursday: 5 sets 12 reps squats
100 bycep curls/ both sides
100 trycep extensions
This month the dumbell is 3 pounds.
Measurements next week, I promisse
Keep trying.

Motivation: I want to loose weight because...

After many days of exercise, trying to eat right and just taking care of myself, it comes a time when you have to think, why do you want to loose weight. I want to loose weight because I want to look hot in my 40's and beyond. I spent my 20's and 30's thinking I was ugly and fat, even when I was 120 lbs. I wasted so many years caring for what others thought of me. It was a waste, and if I can stop one female from making the same mistake I made, I will be happy.
I don't have any altruistic reason, or any beautiful mind view of what I want to accomplish. All I want is too look young and beautiful. Is there anything wrong with that?

Exercise: The move of the week - remember ballet

I took ballet lessons for a year (maybe two) when I was young. I actually have the pictures to proove it. Anyway, I remember the most important time of the class was the practice in the bar. I had to stand with a semipoint and with the other foot, lift to the front, to the side and to the back. Then turn and do with the other leg. Now I am 40 years old and I work at home. But I have learned to recognize when I can take about two or three minutes, stand up, give my butt a rest and do this. As many times as I can, I get up, use the desk as a ballet bar and I do 10 lifts to each side (total 30 per leg) and then I turn around and do it with the opposite leg. Today I did it three separate times.
The important thing is to add little exercises throught out your leg. You do that for two reasons:
1) you need to give your butt a break at least once an hour (in my job, the brakes are once every two hours, so you need to get creative in order to stand up at least once every hour).
2) every little bit helps. If your butt is sore or your arms feel like you did some lifting the next day, you will see the fruits of your labor.
You have to be patient, you have to be consistent. You need to keep at it if you want to make it. Let's keep working at it.

Nutrition: The trick with vegetables

I discovered recently that any meal can be improved with the addition of a few veggies. Say you have a meal that is 300 calories, out of which 150 are fat. Add two servings of veggies to your meal (200 calories) and your numbers improve. Why? Logic. If you have a 300 calorie meal, fat is 50% of that meal. Adding the vegetables makes this meal 30% fat, which is not so terrible. If the vegetables are uncooked or steamed with no added fat, even better. Plus, vegetables make you feel full, not stuffy.
When you do something like that during lunch time, you end up feeling ready for the rest of the day. If you stuff your face with the regular carbs like pasta or rice, you feel stuffed and the afternoon drags out. You even feel like taking a nap instead of taking on the day.
That is my version of the good thing about vegetables. I realize that I am not teaching you anything but that is not the point. Sometimes we know all the information and we still do the wrong things, specially with our diet. Some times what we need is something that sounds logical, not clinical. If you add vegetables to your diet it does not really matter what the reason is, just that you are doing the right thing.

Ramblings: Oh those Milano cookies

So, I have done some exercise, I have actually eaten vegetables twice this week. But today I felt like crap and I bought a bag of double stuffed milano cookies. I'm having an existencial meltdown and I want my damn cookies. Lucky for me, the bag only carries 15 cookies and then I go back to my normal life. The way I see it, you have to do what feels good and not say NO to everything in life, because then you'll want it more. Besides, I lost one pound this week, and it shows.

Weekly stats

This message is short and to the point.
Stats for the week:
Walked 2 miles on Monday
Did the 100 Bycep Curls on Tuesday
Did two sets of Squats on Wednesday
Back pain is horrible
Water retention at an all time high
Having a physical in the next two weeks.
Measurements next week.
Keep trying.

Motivation: What drives me

I was reading an exercise mag and the subject of motivation came up. They commented that an altruistic motive is more important than a personal motivation. The example of the altruistic motivation was "I want to get healthy for my kids". This brings up an interesting point on perspective. The reason why you want to stay alive for "your kids" is because you want to see them grow up. It is a selfish reason, it is a personal reason and it goes back to the issue of things being relative. What might be a good motivator for you would suck for me, and viceversa.
I know that my motivation right now is simple: I'm tired of double digit jeans. I want to wear perfect size 8 jeans. Sounds like a selfish, stupid reason. But for me, it is a matter of logic. That is the most common size of jean in the store, and usually, the difference between brands is not that great on a size 8. For some reason the difference seems a lot bigger the larger the size.
So I will keep my selfish, "personal" reasons. You keep yours. Keep trying.

Exercise: importance of workout confusion

Lately I've seen a lot on print and TV about muscle confusion. I decided to give it a try, my way. On a magazine that I saw last week, they suggested a new twist on muscle confussion. Take a very small weight and do a ridiculous amount of repetitions. I decided to do 100 bycep curls with a two pound weight. Sounds easy enough. I was going really fast for the first 50. And then my arm started to show signs of fatigue. I was able to make it, after many stops and starts. Then I had to repeat in the other arm! But you know what? I do this every four days. I have done it three times already (started last week), and the first day after, my arms hurt. Now they don't hurt. But I am still not capable of doing the full 100 without stopping. I figured after I can dominate this, I can go for three-pound weights, and I will let you know how it goes.
Oh, and by the way, this is on top of our regular routines, that is where the muscle confussion is. This is an unexpected add on. Keep trying!

Nutrition: The importance of water

This is my version of what works for me. Don't expect me to recite what everybody knows about how many glasses a day, or ounces. Let's face it, even something as simple as water makes these so called experts give you a different version. When I was growing up it was 8 glasses of 8 ounces. Now it's 10 glasses of 8 ounces. If you go to other sources it is one ounce per pound, on others one ounce per two pounds. No one seems to know how much is enough.
I think that drinking 8 or 10 glasses a day sounds like one size fits all and that would be impossible. And although the ounces per pound idea sounds more tailor made, I was 210 pounds once, and counld not drink 210 ounces of water, as much as I wanted to. There's also the little matter of how much water is in the fruits and vegetables you eat which is supposed to be added to the water intake.
So what am I doing about this? I drink water when I am thirsty. I drink if I sweat a lot or if I feel hot. And if it is not meal time and I feel hungry, I drink water to make sure that I am not mistaken between hunger and thirst. That is what works for me. To give you an example: I just walked to the local pharmacy and back home. It was hot, so when I got home, I took my water bottle and drank some. How much? I have no idea. I try to drink as much as I feel like as many times as I feel like. I decided this obsession with numbers has to stop, so I don't count ounces anymore. And you know what? I feel great. (Keep in mind, I bought a big water bottle that I refill twice a day, so I know for a fact I am drinking way more than ten glasses a day, but the exact number does not interest me).
Keep trying.

The hardest part of this whole thing is

no matter how much you try and how much you exercise, if you want good results that will last a lifetime, you cannot take a shortcut. Some times, waiting for that one pound to come off makes it hard for you to be motivated. But you have to keep trying. After several months of walking and exercising every day, I had to take a break, concentrate on listening to my body. And you know what? I actually lost one pound. No exercise, but now I know that if I watch what I eat and something happens to side track me, I can still make progress. But tomorrow, the three mile walk is on! Keep trying!

You have to listen to your body. It is not all exercise and nothing else. Eating healthy and getting plenty of rest is also important. I even started meditating for a few minutes every day, to see if I can slow my mind from going 300 miles an hour to going at a 100 miles an hour. But I still feel tired, so tomorrow, I am having my blood tested (and some other things) to make sure that my actual health is not affected and it is just my age that is beginning to show. I'm not worried, I can see if now: "you need more vitamins, or more vegetables...or whatever". I will let you all know later.

Commitments

My commitment for this week was that I was going to walk, at least, four times this week. I walked on the beach on Monday, went to the track on Tuesday and Today, walked the neighborhood yesterday because driving to the beach was impossible (it was the 4th of July after all). The rest of the week, I am keeping the exercise routine to home, exercising with aerobics and Pilates floor exercises. It is weird though: I have kept the eating very healthy, have done less than an hour of exercise a day (but more than 30 minutes), and for some reason, today I feel very tired. I just hope that I am not coming down with something. I will keep trying, because I have lost two pounds since July 1st, and I am exited about the possibilities. Let me know how you are doing, and keep trying.

I am happy I am alive

This is a small post. Just to celebrate life and the fact that I am alive. That the people around me who want to hurt me, did not destroy me. That the people that love me are still around me. Life is beautiful, even if some days we don't see it.

Working on a new strategy

As promissed, I am writting every other day. Today I feel a little blah. Monthly pains, I am getting old, I feel ugly, whatever. You know what, I just found out that I was right about some people, and it depressed the hell out of me. Some times you found out you were right and it still sucks. Specially when they are people you think are friends, and it turns out they are not. So anyway, I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself and I had one of those WOW moments when everything cleared and I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and get my ass back to work, and of course, work out.
I am trying a few new things, and hopefully in the next few weeks I will give you a progress report that does not involve the word backtracking. Love you all...

Life gets in the way

Well, it is true, life gets in the way. Sometimes you don't work out because "life gets in the way". Other times you decide to eat junk food because you got really busy with "life getting on the way". After a while, living can get on the way of all your goals if you don't step back and realize that you have to live life and not let life live you.
I have not written on this blog for over two months. I had some weeks where I worked out every day of the work week. There are some weeks that I only had three days to work out. The bottom line is that even working out more than before, most of the time "life got in the way" and I did not eat as well as I should have. This is the plan for the week:
I intend to work out at least an hour every day this week. I plan on eating more fruits and vegetables this week. I plan on spending the weekend revamping my work from home plan (now that I have a full time job from home I want to create a business I can run around my schedule, in order to maximize my income). I need to learn to make this site and my space interesting, and then I am going to start campaining to get more people to look at what I have to say. This week, however, I plan on writting every other day, until I get used to spending that much time in front of a computer again.

Improvements come slow and steady

I am not focusing on weight LOSS anymore. I am concentrating on improving my health and my body. This is the first lesson I learned from the first 20 pages of the Secret. Yes, curiosity got the best of me and I am now reading the famous book. It is common knowledge that I am a big believer in some forms of self improvement (self help for the skeptics). This book expands on a concept that several other coaches talk about at length in their programs. You achieve what you focus on. I choose to focus on how great my body is and what I can accomplish. My new goal for this month, to be able to run the 2.5 stretch of beach I normally walk three times a week. Why is this a big deal? Because before I started reading the book, I could not run for 10 seconds, let alone a mile or two. Tomorrow we will do the first full walk with my new running shoes which includes a one mile run. On Wednesday I will probably let you know how it went. Keep trying.

Starting anew, every single day

Some times we let our feelings get the best of us. If the scale does not budge, if we eat one too many cookies, if your hormones are raging. The important thing is to take every day as a new beginning. A new day to start exercising. A new outlook on your life. A new opportunity is rising.
Every day I think I don't want to work, I don't want to exercise. I just want to take the day off. But every day I take a deep breath, I go ahead and start exercising and then I start working. Once I start working, I forget about taking the day off. Every time I get dressed to exercise and once I am out the door or in front of the TV, I forget that I did not want to exercise.
Life goes on. Keep trying.

Some bad news stop you dead on your tracks and others...

make you so angry that they fuel your dreams. It so happens that I have been dissed by a "friend" that feels more important than me. It is this "friend's" understanding that his life and his job are more important than most people and so he does not need to apologize or be nice to others who are beneath him.
The discovery that one of my friends thinks this way is not only appalling, it is downright disgusting, and something I do not tolerate. Let me start by saying that no ones life is more important than any other life. Second, I want you to know that I am done being everyone's babysitter and being there for everyone when I have yet to see a friend in PR who treats me the same way that I treat them, except for P.A.T. All my other friends are more than glad to call and cry but have no time for me. I'm done. Every time I have a problem, I sit and eat my weight in chocolate but when they have problems they call me and vent their frustrations. Not anymore. I will not make your life my problem, if you need help, hire a psychologist. As far as the "friend", I have been eliminated out of his life so I really don't have to tell him to fry an egg.
It did hurt but I have so many personal issues to take care of that this is just a smudge in the windshield of my life. I am going to keep exercising and doing well. Keep trying.

The effect of news in your plans

On Saturday I found out that someone close to me is very ill. I am not talking cold or flu sickness. We are talking liver, kidney, maybe even cancer kind of ill. The kind of illness that you don't know when or where it came from and whether you are going to be OK or not. Test results will determine final diagnosis. The worst part is that this person does not know that I know. Yes, I am a great actress, but it is draining to talk to someone, remain in a good mood and pretend nothing is going on.
The interesting thing is the effect of this information. I see people all the time, who make amazing improvements in their lives despite setbacks and troubles. I have to be honest here, I found out yesterday, by accident, and it was a bad day, to say the least. It stopped me in my tracks. It's not like I have not lost people before: my two brothers, my best friend, cousins, uncles, aunts... I'm just tired of loosing people. People think that I am a strong person because when it really matters, I am a rock. I tend to look like nothing is going to hurt me and I can play it cool and be strong for my friends and family. But you know, it is hard to pretend. It is draining, and this time, I don't think I can handle it. I am however, willing to try.
Tomorrow I start another phase of my exercise routine. I am adding a 20 minute intensive workout divided by certain body parts tomorrow. Mondays is for glutes. Tuesday is for arms. Wednesday is for abdominals. Thursday is for legs and Fridays is for Back and Chest. Wish me luck since this is on top of the other workouts.
Keep trying.

185 and counting...

I am happy today. After having only one soda in the last two weeks, and having relatively healthy meals for the last week (OK, yesterday I had pizza, which is also the reason for the soda, who eats pizza with something other than soda?!!!), I am now back to 185 and going down. I have incorporated a lot of small bursts of exercises during the day, specially while at work. It has been a learning experience to get used to locking myself in my office and working from home. But the structure of the job makes it very easy for me to work and give 100%. I have only two priorities for this month: my healthy body and my job. Both are on track. This is a short post because today I go to work early and get off early, which is great because I have all kinds of plans for myself for this weekend. I am spending the night in, first time in almost four months that I stay home on a Friday night. I intend to get a lot of work done organizing my office tomorrow. Tomorrow night I have to study and review my vocabulary. Then on Sunday I plan to take it easy, wake up late and if I have money, take my daughter out to lunch. Another advantage of working from home, housework gets done during the week and I actually can have the weekend to myself. Keep trying.

Finally, I get to walk again

As promised, posts are now every other day. I can tell you that for the last five days I could not go walking. My right calf muscle was acting up again. But I have spent Monday and Tuesday without going for my usual walk, and my body was not happy. Last night I was woken up at 4:00 AM in the morning with the toughest cramps I have experienced in a very long time. Today I went to the beach and walked for 45 minutes.
As far as the diet is concerned, you know that I am not dieting, just trying to eat better quality foods. I was able to find several things at the local Costco. I got Organic salad, organic grape tomatoes (EXCELLENT!!!), organic spinach and organic tomato soup. The soup is to die for. Monday and Tuesday I had soup for lunch and salad for dinner, with either chicken or shrimp. I have smaller portions now. I am having the equivalent of three meals and two snacks each day. I am not feeling hungry most of the time. I have lost three pounds, but I gained ten in the last three months, which means that I started at 190. It is very disturbing that I am fighting the same damn ten pounds all the time. But now, with the need to exercise firmly controlled and my diet choices improving, I hope that I start seeing some great results soon. We'll see. Keep trying!

Changes and the future

Hello. It has been three weeks since my last post. I started working on Feb. 19th, this is the first day of my fourth week on the job. I work as an interpreter. And I love it. I am having a lot of fun and learning a lot. I also started exercising more than usual. I am making sure that I exercise five hours a week. The only thing I have not taken under control is my eating habits. They suck. But that is about to change.
I am in the middle of many changes in my life. I have taken a lot of negative energy out of my life, by eliminating certain people that were not giving me peace. I discovered why God placed this one person in my life after years of not seeing him. It took me a while, but I figured out that although I loved this person a lot in the past, his passing in my life this time had to do with what I was not happy within myself, and changing that. Now I can let him go, for his purpose in my life is over. I finally decided what I am going to do and how I am going to do it. Nobody will stop me. And so this little experiment needs to change as well.
In the next few weeks you will see some changes to this blog. All the changes have to do with my future plans. I have the next 18 months figured out to the day. And on June 2009 I am going back to Italy. So I have until then to get back to 120 lbs. The first change that I am going to make is that from now on I will only post and check this blog every other day. That should keep me up to speed on my writing and will allow me to share more info. with all of you. Make sure to write any suggestions or comments. I do appreciate them. Well, I have a ton of things to do before 10:45 AM which is when I go to work today. Hope your day is as bright as mine feels right now.

Working for a living and working out for health

Hi. Today is my third day at my new job. This job is from home, regular full time employment. This job looks very interesting. I am right in the middle of training. And the best thing is the commute, a staggering 30 seconds that it takes me to turn the phone off.
It is important to note that I have aprox. three hours before I start work to get my workout in. I have done so for Monday and Tuesday. Today, I did not feel really up to it and that is OK too. The important thing is that tomorrow I pick up where I left off today. I did a bit of housework this morning for a special reason and I was too tired to do a workout too. Anyway, I have to keep trying, and so do you.

low lights and high lights

First, the lowlights. I never made it to the Expo because we had several family matters that required immediate attention. But, as you may know, I started working yesterday. Since my working hours start after 10 AM and I am working full-time from home, I decided that I could not turn into a total hermit. I made two decisions: I would start low and steady and the snacks had to be healthy.
For the last two days I have done at least 40 minutes of exercise. On Monday I did 20 minutes on the bike and walked one mile. I also finally took the time to find out how long it is taking me to walk that mile. Thanks to the pain on my leg (which I hope the other exercises will help with that), I am taking 21 minutes to walk one mile. I hope that by the end of this month I will be able to drop it to 18 min.
Today, it was raining. I have two work out routines in my agenda (one for good weather and one in case of rain). I did 20 minutes on the bike and 20 minutes mat Pilates workout. I feel great.
Also, on the food front: for snack yesterday I ate a plate of mini carrots with organic dressing and for lunch I had a small plate of whole grain pasta and a tiny serving of meat sauce. Oh, and I drank enough water to drown a horse.
I am doing better, one step at a time. How are you doing?

Better food choices

Today I decided that my diet needs a mayor overhaul. The way I discovered this was really a no brainer (the kind of no brainer that has to hit you over the head before you admit that you know what you know). It so happens that I drank a soda and right after I lost all the energy in my body. No more sodas for me. I found out that there is a place about 20 miles from here that sells organic fruits and vegetables on Saturdays. However, tomorrow we have the Quality of Life Expo starting at the Convention Center and I might be able to check it out tomorrow. Right now, the only thing I can tell you is that the least amount of cooking I do, the better I feel. Yes, I am leaning towards certain uncooked food, but I am not ready to do the Demi Moore thing yet. My girlfriend, MG mentioned the organic thing to me recently, and I think it is important that I consider it. More info on this later. I promisse whatever I learn I will share with you here. Keep trying!

Chocolate

A lot of things have been written about chocolate. Today is the one day of the Year when no one looks at you funny for eating chocolate. So I decided to give my often uneducated view on chocolate for the benefits of those who like me, are trying to get healthy and loose weight.
I have no intention on quitting chocolate. For one thing, it is the only way you get me to drink milk on a daily basis. If I can't pour Quik on my milk, there is no way I will ever drink it. I have done this since I was ten years old. The other reason why I have no intention on quitting chocolate is because I am a chocoholic. I quit cigarettes, I quit soda, I am abandoning all the other goodies. I believe that you should not give up EVERYTHING you want because in doing so you predispose yourself to fail. Besides, dark chocolate has some ingredient that supposedly is good for you. I say, I will drink a chocolate milk to that, while enjoying my Valentine's day Godiva Dark Chocolate box in the next couple of days (hey, I said I indulge, not that I eat them all in one sitting). Keep trying.

Don't give up

So, I went to see Ricky Martin on his last concert in PR. It was amazing. I don't even like Ricky that much and I danced along and screamed like a teen ager. It was fun but unfortunately, Anna got sick and she did not enjoy it as much as I wish. (She screamed enough that today she has no voice left, so I guess she did enjoy it). Today she is home, with a massive sinus infection (and no voice). Even though the weekend was miserable, and Monday was a logistical nightmare, I have to say that I managed to keep my spirits up. Today, it is a new day. I am organizing a routine that I can actually follow. I gave up cigarettes and now I am working on the soda. I realize is too soon to drop one thing when the other is so recent, but the truth is that you have to go at your own pace and this makes me feel better. I already feel more energized. Try it for yourself. Make a list of all those habits that are not so positive and decide to give up one. The feeling of empowerment will give you the momentum and when you are ready, tackle the next one. Build on your successes and don't give up.

There will be good days and bad days

Today is supposed to be a good day. The whole day is planned and if everything gets accomplished, I will get home at 11 PM exhausted but happy. I am taking Anna to a concert. She is 15 and loves music (like her mother) and even though she pretended not to care if I got money for the tickets, she can't stop talking about Ricky Martin today. It is the last day he will be in PR, and we got tickets close to the ceiling of the Coliseum, but it does not matter to her.
The weekend was not happy. It never ceases to amaze me the effect your mood can have on your food and exercise choices. This weekend I did nothing. I ate crap and I did not move at all. Why? Because I had a sabotage to my efforts on Friday, and the effects of this event marred my good intentions. I am still feeling down about what happened but I refuse to let anyone or any thing deter me from my goals. I will loose anywhere from 30 to 50 pounds this year. I will not smoke any cigarettes for the rest of the year (yes, I quit already and I am not craving them as much as I thought I would). I will be able to go on vacation and not be embarrassed by my body. I will improve my calf condition so that I can walk next year on the Worlds best 10k here in PR. I will have a better life and eat better than I have until now. All of this is part of the program, and no one will make me stray, but I am not going to pretend like some times it does not hurt when the people that you have around try to ruin it for you. Sometimes it's the ones that you have sacrificed the most for that prove to you over and over again that your sacrifice means nothing.
This weekend is the Quality of Life Expo here at the Convention Center. I will talk more about this in a future spot. Keep trying...!

Changes and life

Today has been a day of reflection for me. This thought process might be a little convoluted so bare with me. I just found out Anna Nicole died. She was 39. Oddly enough, I had just finished reading this story about a lawsuit based on Trim Spa and Anna getting sued over false claims (something to that effect). The first thing I thought about was the fact that people don't learn that what might work for one person may very well not work for someone else. Then I thought that our obsession with blaming anybody else for our own problems only benefits lawyers and the diet industry. Then I started thinking that maybe she died as a direct consequence of relying on the wrong methods of weight loss. Her weight loss was very fast, then she got pregnant and all that hormonal, drug and alcohol history and weight issues could not be good for the body, specially the heart.
Then I started thinking about myself. The truth is I've been gaining and loosing the same five pounds for the last three months. I am stuck. I've been wondering lately why that is. I realize that things were not very rosy since December. My job disappeared, my will to exercise all but vanished and diet is not good during the Holidays. The truth is I am not trying hard enough. But depression has a little part in this whole thing. Ok, so I know this could be easily solved with Zoloft. I've done them before and it is the first time I got something for depression that did not turn me into a complete zombie. As you may know, the issue with my last boss gave me a mild case of anxiety attacks. I should have gone back to meds but I decided to do it on my own. And I am making progress, very slowly. I vent my frustrations here or in private emails to a select few. I write, I exercise and I take care of the home front. Sometimes, that is not enough. I know that some changes need to take place in order for me to get out of this rut I am caught under. The truth is that even though for some things I am a big risk taker, I am still afraid of the ultimate leap of faith. Those who know me well know exactly what that is and there is no point in going into details. The important thing is that I keep trying to make my life better. Learn from the lessons life presents you and then move on to whatever it is that you want to do. That is all for today.

Injury question

If you have a sore calf muscle that cramps up every time you go walking, what do you do? I read somewhere that it might have to do something with dehydration or lack of potasium. But I eat one banana a day and I am drinking plenty of water. Should I be patient? Keep in mind, this is my favorite exercise. Your thoughts...

Small sacrifices

Today I went for my walk. I finally found out that the night walk is exactly three miles long and the morning walk is 2.8 miles. Easily resolved, a walk around my block either before or after the big walk in the morning completes the three miles. That is not the small sacrifice I am referring to. Today again, the Water company decided to take the water away from my town. We walked at 8:30 AM. It is now 9:20 PM and NOW I can go and shower. It's a good thing I don't have a job yet because I really needed the exercise, and I really stink right now. I did not walk tonight though, because I did not know when we were going to get the water back. Sometimes you don't mind a little stench, but going to bed all nasty... not going to happen.

Every little bit counts

Today, even though I did not get any sleep last night (insomnia), I took Anna to school by walking. I walked half way (0.6 miles) and then walked back. She walked the way up and down (which is aprox. 1.2 miles). Tonight we plan on doing our walk, which adds another 3 miles to the daily totals. The important thing is that every walk adds a little more to our weekly totals. Last week we had 13 miles. I think I got a little too excited and ended up hurting myself. But this week we are taking it slow and steady because our goal is to walk 20 miles this week. Wish me luck!!!

One step at a time

This week I started walking as much as possible. I've managed to walk 13 miles since Monday, hoping to complete 20 by the end of the week. Anna walked 9 with me, and she walked 2 1/2 miles on her own by walking part of the way home from school. We decided to take it one step at a time in order to get goals that we can accomplish. But I have to be honest, I am dead tired. My legs are killing me, but they feel strong and I feel less tired. I will keep you posted on whether or not I managed to accomplish my goal for this week.

10 miles walked in two days

Short post. Exhausted. Walked ten miles in two days. Yesterday I went back to my night time routine, 3 miles aprox. in 1 hour. Today I walked four miles in the morning and did my night time routine again. I'm getting too old for this. On the one hand, it is making every bone in my body hurt. But I feel great. How long can I keep this up?

Your mind can help you on your way

This is a short post just to make you think. If you are not right in your head, the rest will follow. Obviously, the opposite is also true. As a woman, I have very different jobs in my life. I am a mother, a sister, daughter, wife, friend, employee, etc. There are two things that are necessary to make progress in the decision to get healthy:
1) you need to be clear in your head about what you want to achieve. That includes short term goals and long term. In order to succeed you have to know exactly what you want and how to get it.
2) you need to have a clear head: if you have symptoms of depression, do something about it. If you have a stressful job, get another one or do yoga. If you have too many things in your plate, focus on one or two and delegate the rest.
My goal for this week is to eliminate more clutter in my life and in my head. That will help me concentrate on taking better care of myself.

You diet, you fail, guess what, it is not your fault!

I have the TV on while I do some housework and from the distance I can hear the statement. Yet another company selling a miracle on a pill because being fat is not my fault.
Well, guess what? The first thing to getting somewhere in this game is admitting that you are responsible for what you put in your mouth, and how you take care of yourself. If you are not willing to do the work to get better with yourself, the weight is not going to change much.
Don't take me wrong. The pills will work, and you will loose the weight. But if you don't do the work to find the reasons why you overeat in the first place, you better keep taking that pill for the rest of your life.
In the last thirty years I have noticed how society has found ways in excusing all kinds of behaviors. If you have a rowdy child, he has ADD. If your marriage is on the rocks, you might have co-dependence issues. If you are fat, it is not your fault. You have a hormone that is to blame. Funny, I don't recall people 20 years ago being affected by any hormone. The ones who took the time to attack weight in all fronts: food, exercise, psychological issues, environment... those where the ones who lost the weight and never gained it back. Let's face it, society has a label for every possible behavior, and we are suckers for it.
I say it stops with me. I gained the weight. I have issues that I have to deal with. I am not terribly happy with the way my life turned out and I console myself with food. True, really good food because I don't care for junk food (which of course means I spend too much money eating out, but that goes under financial and not weight problems, LOL). In a nutshell, it is my fault that I gained up to 90 pounds. It is my fault that I stalled in the beginning of the year. And it is my RESPONSIBILITY to take over my life and change it for the better. Do you have anything you need to accept responsibility for? Is a pill going to help with the real problem?

The power of endorphins

First thing: I am sorry I have "disappeared" for the last week. I was doing really well and between the job search not going real well and the stress of regular life, I forgot to post.
Second: It is really amazing that my friends and family are not posting answers here but I am getting responses from complete strangers. This is the true power of the internet and I am deeply touched by your encouragement. Thank you. Now for my friends and family, don't email me about this stuff. Write it here. I am checking up on you guys and I love the support. You guys have given me some great answers that I would like to share with others.
Now for the endorphins thing. I am not going to give you some scientific explanation or medical information. I am talking from experience. Now we all know that women tend to get a little touchy at certain times of the month. Add to that the regular stress of life and you have a combo for mild depression. The solution came from the booming voice of my daughter's father. He told me to get off my butt and go for a walk. And we did. For two days now we have gone for a four mile walk around the neighborhood in the early hours of the morning. He said the exercise would lift my spirits. It did more than that. I got rid of my back pain, (ok, my legs are sore but I'd rather be sore from that), I feel less sad and more importantly, I am awake. Usually I go for the POWER NAP (about an hour and a half) and now I only need twenty minutes. It is getting me back to where I was before December, where I walked 3 times a week and exercised at home. It broke the rut and I feel great. Plus, I have not gained any weight back because my eating habits are not that terrible. So get off your butts, and do something. For those of you in cold weather, walk the mall. Just don't take any money if you are strapped for cash. I don't want to feel responsible for a financial crisis, LOL. Hope to hear from you soon.

What I call a good day

It is 11:38 AM in what should be sunny PR. Actually it is cold and damp and the sun has tried to come up but has had no success. Oddly enough, that has not dampened my spirits. I woke up at 6:...AM and even though I only got 4 hours of sleep I decided to stay awake for as long as possible to see if now I can revert the sleep cycle back to normal.
I actually got some work done and some study time. Now, for the worst work but the best workout around, house work. Tip from me: play your favorite music and dance while you clean, even belt out a few tunes. It will inspire you and let's face it, if you are not Christina Aguilera, who can keep a sour mood when they are listening to their own voice trying to hit those high notes (LOL). I admit it, I can't sing, but I love trying. Just keep moving!

Eating when you feel bad

I have been unemployed for a couple of weeks now and the only thing that worries me is emotional eating. I have been smart enough not to keep a lot of junk food in the house. And money being at a premium, I can't go out and buy whatever I want. But some times I worry that spending too many hours near a fridge while sitting at my computer (my office is in the family room currently) could be a hazard to my achievements so far. Also, I am having a little trouble setting the ground rules for my daily routine. Any suggestions?

Water weight gain...

Today, my post is small, the news are expected. One week after thinking I had gained five pounds, I can tell you that water weight is gone, and I have not gained any weight, I lost five pounds. I ate all the goodies, sensibly and it worked. Now, two weeks after the year end and a week after Xmas was over in PR, I feel very positive about life. I have not been able to successfully establish a workout routine. Maybe that is because I am not working and it has been hard to set up a routine. Anna started school today, maybe that will help me get back on track. If all else fails, I'll walk her to school. At least that will be exercise. Any suggestions?

Update, how am I really doing this week

Today is Thursday and in PR it is 12:02 PM. I just had lunch, if you could call it that, and there was nothing healthy about that. To be honest, apart from the exercise, this week sucks diet wise. Understand, I have no intention on following any particular diet. What I really want is to retrain myself to eat healthy and take care of myself because this is a change for the rest of my life.

A funny thing happened as I got older. Symptoms for common situations change. I have a girlfriend, who shall remain nameless unless she chooses to post on my blog, and she has never had a weight problem. Trust me, I know this chick since 6th grade, although we were in the same school since 4th, and as an adult, fat for her has been probably 120. But she is turning 40 this year if memory serves me, and she does not have a weight problem, but she is starting to feel those aches and pains we used to associate to old people. Until she emailed me a couple of days ago, I had not associated certain things with just getting older.

I realize I am going around in circles but keep up with me and I do have a point. When I was in my teens, they gave us this little book in school about the symptoms of puberty. Ok, they were talking about the P word(.) I remember they said bloating, cramps, headaches, breast swelling, leg pain, back pain,.... on and on it went. But at that age, the only symptom I had was cramps and the obvious. As I got older, I swear to God I have every single symptom and a few I had no idea of. And they keep getting worse.

Another example of a condition that worsens with age: my sugar blood level has never been great, it dips for no reason. When you take into account how much chocolate I eat, it makes no sense that my blood sugar is low. Anyway, when I was young, the order of symptoms was simple and predictable: dizziness, followed by a cold sweat, shivering and then the urge to hurl. By the third incident, I had carbs in my mouth by the time the cold sweats hit. Since 2006, I have improved somewhat my eating habits, although not always. But the last two incidents reversed the symptoms and now I have no warning. The first incident was in June while visiting Rome (yes, Italy, I know I am poor but you know sometimes opportunities appear and you just grab them and think about consecuences later). The first symptom was the urge to kiss a porcelain goddess. I don't know about you, but if I feel like puking I automatically think food poisoning. Later on we figured out what it was. Now the reason why I know that the symptoms are changing is because on Tuesday I confirmed it. After 25 minutes of exercising, I had to run to the bathroom with dry heaves and discovered that my symptoms are still the same for sugar drops, only they have been exactly reversed.
So what is my point? First, I wanted to vent my frustrations out. Second, the real lesson that I learned from all this is: you have to learn to be flexible, listen to your body and adapt your strategies to your changing bodies. As you get older, things might change, but that does not mean you cannot live a healthy, happy life. I am here for you if you want to vent too. I welcome your comments.

Another day of learning... and growing

First, the bad news. According to the scale, I am 185, which means I gained 5 pounds. But I have no way of knowing if that is Xmas weight gain, water retention, or both, because I just started my cycle. If I weight 180 by Friday, then we know I will be screaming this from the top of every building in PR. Now for the good news, I decided to do an Hour of Power to dedicate to myself. What does that mean?
From time to time, I will share with you certain programs that I have purchased in order to get healthy in mind, body and soul. I might not always be able to tell you where I got the information, but seing as these are my opinions, I don't think I am legally bound to like everything I read or watch. I am an American citizen living in America and there is this thing called the Constitution which guarantees my right to say I did not like a particular program. However, I personally do not believe in trashing other products or services. I am in the services industry and I think that less is more when it comes to dislikes. I would appreciate that if you don't like a product or system, or something that I said, you act apropriately. No cursing, no slamming people or their products. A simple "I don't agree... or I don't like..." is sufficient.
Back to the hour of Power. This comes from a very famous Coach whose program I own and out of all the things this person teaches, this happens to be my favorite. It speaks to this need I now understand of taking care of myself first. Some people never learn that if you don't take care of yourself, you really are not going to be able to take care of anything or anyone else. This Hour includes 45 minutes of exercise, which today included some stationary biking, lifting and dancing. I feel great, five hours later. This is about slow and steady for me.

Drinking habits

I believe in getting all the free information that can help me. One of the topics I subscribe to is health. I receive about 6 or 7 e-zines a day. One of them had an article about the effects of soda. Since my resolution is to become healthy, soda has been vanished from my diet and my daughter's. Soda companies need not fear my decision: my husband drinks enough soda a day to make up for my one can a day and my daughter's. He has soda for breakfast, with a cigarette, another one when he actually eats breakfast. Another soda to have with his fast food lunch and another one with dinner. That does not include the one he is usually drinking while watching games on TV. Long story short, the article is explaining how soda is not only bad for your weight, but also messes up your teeth, can help diabetes, etc. I have had no soda since New Year's Eve: yes, three full days ago. But I don't miss it. And if you decide to knock soda off your diet, I hope you don't miss it either. Stay strong.

When did I turn old?

I want to know when I stopped being part of the Vogue and Bazaar target market and became the target of More magazine. On November I turned forty. It was not a happy birthday. So I am strolling down the local Borders and sure enough I see More magazine with Sharon Stone on the cover. I'm a big fan of hers so I decide to take the magazine home. It sat on my table for three weeks and then I opened it. And I read, and read, and read the whole thing from cover to cover. It was like they were talking to me personally.
What I do know for sure is this. We do not have the same issues as twenty year olds, nor do we have the same medical and health concerns. And unlike them, we now know EXACTLY what we want and how to get it. So why don't you join me as I struggle to get healthy and fit.
I am 5'3" and weight 182 lbs. And I am celebrating because at this time last year I was 210 lbs. My goal for the next six months is to loose 40 pounds without touching another cigarette. I hope you join me in this process and offer suggestions and encouragement. And to all the other 40 year old women who cannot believe we are this old, take heart, 40 is just a number.