Truly important things in life

For the last couple of weeks, I have been pondering what the really important things are in life. I have been so obsessed with my weight that I have not counted all the blessings that I do have. I am the mother of the most beautiful, talented and intelligent person I know. I am married to a wonderful man and excellent father. I am a homeowner, I have a BA in Marketing and most people say that I am really smart. I have all my extremities, both my eyes and ears, I can smell and taste and most of the time I can feel things. I am "normal" by most standards.

I was reminded a few days ago how shallow people are some times, and how we some times become even more shallow. Just when I was starting to make peace with the person I am today, weight and all, people make comments about my hair, my earrings (or lack of), my choice of clothes, and everything else. As I believe, like Mary Poppins, that I should never explain anything, I should be happy and move on. But I needed to get some things off my chest and none of the people involved in this little incident read this (although I wish they would), so here I go.

First of all, the average person bases their point of view on their own experience. This is the easiest way to explain why some people think I am negative, even on days when I am happy. I don't have time to sit and be stupid happy all day, sorry, that is not me. I have been chastised about the earring thing all my life, and the joke is, I actually love earrings. Unfortunately, depending on the alloy used, I tend to get allergic reactions, even from jewelry that is supposed to be not allergenic (or however you say that). More often than not I avoid them, because I don't want to be scratching my earlobes off for a week or two. Kill me for thinking about my convenience. I chopped my hair off because I sweat a lot, and I live in a tropical island. If my husband would allow me, I would have gone bald. But that was the only thing he begged me not to do, and I decided to please him. Again, this is a convenience issue and not the crazy antics of a depressed woman. Excuse me for thinking, again, about my own convenience.

Ironically enough, I was accused of wearing no make up to an occasion when I was wearing more make up than I usually do. However, I had gone to work that day at 3:00 AM in the morning, and I looked tired....really, I would think that the fact that I fell asleep on the way there would have tipped you off. Finally, this is the one thing I want to say about all this. If you spent a couple of hours talking about my hair, my make up, my earrings or my looks, your life is more pathetic than mine. Because most of my decisions are based out of convenience and take a few minutes to make. But the fact that you actually took the time, not only to notice it but to bitch about it for 2 minutes or two hours, only goes to show that your life is so empty, you have nothing better to do than bash people that are not even present to defend themselves. And that, to me, is even more pathetic than the fact that I did not wear earrings to a lunch date, or that my hair annoys you. GET A LIFE, and let me enjoy mine.

There, now that I got it all out of my system, I feel much better. But now, for my honest opinion on the topic. After the anger gave way to laughter, I can truly say, that I could care less about what people think about me. If they are not taking the time to talk to me, instead of behind my back, they can think what they want, because they are not my friends. And to those friends who told me what end was up, I truly do appreciate your concern. But the fact of the matter is, I am not unhappy or depressed, I do things for myself, and not for others to approve, and if you love me, you either take me as I am, or you let me be...which is what I usually do about what I think about you. LOVE YA.

Returning to basic: what is the goal and the motivation

I need to take this seriously if I want to succeed. And in order to succeed I need to remember why I started this to begin with. The motivation: a six week trip to Italy in the summer of 2009. My goals for the next 12 months are simple:
1) To spend as much time as possible with my daughter since this is her last year of high school, so that next year I can release her to the world without feeling overwhelm or guilty for what I did not do.
2) To loose 5 pounds a month for the next 10 months so that I go to Italy weighting 150 pounds (or less).
3) To bring my credit score to over 700, which is where it was before I purchased the house and my debt to income ration went nuts.

It is very easy to forget that everything I do is in order to accomplish one of those goals. So I need to sit back and remember why I did this, and in the process, go back to the way my life should be.

A lot of people think that being negative and saying no is the same thing. Lately, I have been saying no to a lot of things. It has nothing to do with being negative, it has everything to do with being able to accomplish my goals. Women, specially Latin women, have a tendency to say yes to everything and then complain that they have too much going on. I learned that the hard way. Now, I pick and choose what I say yes to, and in the process, I set limits on what I will and will not do. It is really simple, if the action does not help one of those three goals, the answer is NO.

Keep trying.