Ramblings: Happiness is not on a meal or on a bottle

Today I found happiness while reading an art magazine. I used to love to draw when I was young. It made the time fly even at the worst of times (when someone died or things were bad). I have abandoned my thrills after a certain age. I no longer go to museums or mix colors or paint or draw. I've been meaning to, but life keeps getting in the way.
But today I decided to read the current issue of an art magazine, and I have kept that grin on my face for most of the day. It was like rediscovering an old flame or reaquainting myself with an old friend. It felt good and comfortable. I want to explore that feeling for a little longer.
Eating has never been something that makes me happy for hours, specially if it was something "bad" for me. Drinking has never had a great effect on me, and pills have never delivered on the promisse of joy I've expected. So maybe the solution is to look for that thing that makes you happy and hold on to it for dear life, specially when life gets in the way.
Keep trying.

Weekly Stats

Weight: 190 LBS.
Height: 5' 3 1/2"
Monday: Walked 3 miles
Wednesday: Walked 3 miles
Thursday: 5 sets 12 reps squats
100 bycep curls/ both sides
100 trycep extensions
This month the dumbell is 3 pounds.
Measurements next week, I promisse
Keep trying.

Motivation: I want to loose weight because...

After many days of exercise, trying to eat right and just taking care of myself, it comes a time when you have to think, why do you want to loose weight. I want to loose weight because I want to look hot in my 40's and beyond. I spent my 20's and 30's thinking I was ugly and fat, even when I was 120 lbs. I wasted so many years caring for what others thought of me. It was a waste, and if I can stop one female from making the same mistake I made, I will be happy.
I don't have any altruistic reason, or any beautiful mind view of what I want to accomplish. All I want is too look young and beautiful. Is there anything wrong with that?