Hello there.
Life takes many twists and turns. I am about to start a new chapter on this journey. Healthy after 40 no longer serves the purpose it once served. For the latest on what is going on, check out www.aviddiva.wordpress.com or you can always check the website at www.aviddiva.biz for more info.
I hope you will check it out.
Thanks for all the support throughout the years.
Roxana, the AvidDiva
Friday, January 1, 2010
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
The blessing in the move
I was watching a show called Hoarders on TV. I felt real pain watching these people who live surrounded by stuff. The things become invisible to them after a while, they don't see the trash or the squalor. I can relate, somewhat.
Ever since I was a child, I was considered the "messy" one. I would never throw anything out. I think it had something to do with being the last of four children. We were a nice middle income family, there was never any lack. Still, we were usually blessed with many things from other family members who had outgrown theirs. My theory is that in my head, I prized those things that were given to me, either because certain things were purchased for me and then I could be the one handing them down; or maybe because subconciously I felt that if I did not keep these things one day the flow would stop and I would be left with nothing.
When I was 21, I married the oldest of three and he is not a collector like me. He always tells me that if I let him, he will get some garbage bags and send everything to the Salvation Army I guess after a while, he got used to living with me, and my stuff. We have been married for 22 years. Some times, we've had too much stuff, clothes pilled up on the floors, entire rooms that we use for storage. I did not feel like a hoarder because I don't hold on to trash, I don't do well with roaches and I kept the house messy and clean. I do not like dust on my books or stains in my clothes. It is one thing to have too many books, it is another to disrespect books. I guess that is the difference between a hoarder and me. I was halfway there, I just quite could not cross that corner into filth.
There is also the fact that we could move through most of the house. In my last house, we could actually eat in the dining room table some times. We could always use the living room and my daughter could have her friends over. The common areas were mostly clutter free. The bedrooms were a completely different story.
Then, one day, I moved to Florida with two suitcases. For the last four months we've survived with plenty of food, two air mattresses, two tables, three lamps, one TV with its stand, a small bookcase, three chairs, three stools and four or five pots and pans. We have some books and magazines, few clothes. My parents are scandalized by my nomadic lifestyle. Why don't you buy any furniture? How can you sleep on the floor? What about your daughter? They cannot even imagine that this has been the biggest blessing in my life. Living with close to nothing has inspired me to let go of many of the things that I still have.
I discovered this last week, when I received a box from home. My husband, who is still in Puerto Rico getting the house ready for whatever, sent me a box. I could not believe how many books and things I managed to pack in a four gallon box (called so because it is the box usually used to ship four plastic gallons of water). That is not a big box,and it had over 40 books. That was the day I decided to start READING all the books I collected. For every ten books I own, I am either tossing, selling or donating nine. This new rule applies to all the regular books, the art books are not included on that deal. The way I see it, I own about 1,000 books, so when I am done, I should have 100. The fact that I am actually reading the books is a marvel in and of itself. I was so overwhelmed before I would read a couple of chapters and give up. This is improvement, and it will continue.
I also became a member of my local library. Their selection is fantastic and I hope to add to it very soon. Yes, it might take me a long time to read them all. I might find after the first couple of chapters, that I don't want to read some. The important thing is that every time I grab one, I finish it and set it up on one of three piles: donate, sell, keep. The ones that are getting tossed out don't need to go on a pile. I will keep a spreadsheet of the books and how I do, so that I find out if my projections are correct and if I am keeping my promisses. I will keep you posted. I will keep getting rid of things. I would love to hear from you, specially if you have stories of being a pack-rat. Let's work together.
Ever since I was a child, I was considered the "messy" one. I would never throw anything out. I think it had something to do with being the last of four children. We were a nice middle income family, there was never any lack. Still, we were usually blessed with many things from other family members who had outgrown theirs. My theory is that in my head, I prized those things that were given to me, either because certain things were purchased for me and then I could be the one handing them down; or maybe because subconciously I felt that if I did not keep these things one day the flow would stop and I would be left with nothing.
When I was 21, I married the oldest of three and he is not a collector like me. He always tells me that if I let him, he will get some garbage bags and send everything to the Salvation Army I guess after a while, he got used to living with me, and my stuff. We have been married for 22 years. Some times, we've had too much stuff, clothes pilled up on the floors, entire rooms that we use for storage. I did not feel like a hoarder because I don't hold on to trash, I don't do well with roaches and I kept the house messy and clean. I do not like dust on my books or stains in my clothes. It is one thing to have too many books, it is another to disrespect books. I guess that is the difference between a hoarder and me. I was halfway there, I just quite could not cross that corner into filth.
There is also the fact that we could move through most of the house. In my last house, we could actually eat in the dining room table some times. We could always use the living room and my daughter could have her friends over. The common areas were mostly clutter free. The bedrooms were a completely different story.
Then, one day, I moved to Florida with two suitcases. For the last four months we've survived with plenty of food, two air mattresses, two tables, three lamps, one TV with its stand, a small bookcase, three chairs, three stools and four or five pots and pans. We have some books and magazines, few clothes. My parents are scandalized by my nomadic lifestyle. Why don't you buy any furniture? How can you sleep on the floor? What about your daughter? They cannot even imagine that this has been the biggest blessing in my life. Living with close to nothing has inspired me to let go of many of the things that I still have.
I discovered this last week, when I received a box from home. My husband, who is still in Puerto Rico getting the house ready for whatever, sent me a box. I could not believe how many books and things I managed to pack in a four gallon box (called so because it is the box usually used to ship four plastic gallons of water). That is not a big box,and it had over 40 books. That was the day I decided to start READING all the books I collected. For every ten books I own, I am either tossing, selling or donating nine. This new rule applies to all the regular books, the art books are not included on that deal. The way I see it, I own about 1,000 books, so when I am done, I should have 100. The fact that I am actually reading the books is a marvel in and of itself. I was so overwhelmed before I would read a couple of chapters and give up. This is improvement, and it will continue.
I also became a member of my local library. Their selection is fantastic and I hope to add to it very soon. Yes, it might take me a long time to read them all. I might find after the first couple of chapters, that I don't want to read some. The important thing is that every time I grab one, I finish it and set it up on one of three piles: donate, sell, keep. The ones that are getting tossed out don't need to go on a pile. I will keep a spreadsheet of the books and how I do, so that I find out if my projections are correct and if I am keeping my promisses. I will keep you posted. I will keep getting rid of things. I would love to hear from you, specially if you have stories of being a pack-rat. Let's work together.
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