The 120 day challenge for the over 40 gal

This is the last post on this blog

2010-01-01T23:26:00.001-04:30

Hello there.

Life takes many twists and turns. I am about to start a new chapter on this journey. Healthy after 40 no longer serves the purpose it once served. For the latest on what is going on, check out www.aviddiva.wordpress.com or you can always check the website at www.aviddiva.biz for more info.

I hope you will check it out.

Thanks for all the support throughout the years.

Roxana, the AvidDiva

The Power of Our Dreams

2009-12-11T00:47:00.001-04:30

The blessing in the move

2009-12-01T13:06:00.003-04:30

I was watching a show called Hoarders on TV. I felt real pain watching these people who live surrounded by stuff. The things become invisible to them after a while, they don't see the trash or the squalor. I can relate, somewhat.

Ever since I was a child, I was considered the "messy" one. I would never throw anything out. I think it had something to do with being the last of four children. We were a nice middle income family, there was never any lack. Still, we were usually blessed with many things from other family members who had outgrown theirs. My theory is that in my head, I prized those things that were given to me, either because certain things were purchased for me and then I could be the one handing them down; or maybe because subconciously I felt that if I did not keep these things one day the flow would stop and I would be left with nothing.

When I was 21, I married the oldest of three and he is not a collector like me. He always tells me that if I let him, he will get some garbage bags and send everything to the Salvation Army I guess after a while, he got used to living with me, and my stuff. We have been married for 22 years. Some times, we've had too much stuff, clothes pilled up on the floors, entire rooms that we use for storage. I did not feel like a hoarder because I don't hold on to trash, I don't do well with roaches and I kept the house messy and clean. I do not like dust on my books or stains in my clothes. It is one thing to have too many books, it is another to disrespect books. I guess that is the difference between a hoarder and me. I was halfway there, I just quite could not cross that corner into filth.

There is also the fact that we could move through most of the house. In my last house, we could actually eat in the dining room table some times. We could always use the living room and my daughter could have her friends over. The common areas were mostly clutter free. The bedrooms were a completely different story.

Then, one day, I moved to Florida with two suitcases. For the last four months we've survived with plenty of food, two air mattresses, two tables, three lamps, one TV with its stand, a small bookcase, three chairs, three stools and four or five pots and pans. We have some books and magazines, few clothes. My parents are scandalized by my nomadic lifestyle. Why don't you buy any furniture? How can you sleep on the floor? What about your daughter? They cannot even imagine that this has been the biggest blessing in my life. Living with close to nothing has inspired me to let go of many of the things that I still have.

I discovered this last week, when I received a box from home. My husband, who is still in Puerto Rico getting the house ready for whatever, sent me a box. I could not believe how many books and things I managed to pack in a four gallon box (called so because it is the box usually used to ship four plastic gallons of water). That is not a big box,and it had over 40 books. That was the day I decided to start READING all the books I collected. For every ten books I own, I am either tossing, selling or donating nine. This new rule applies to all the regular books, the art books are not included on that deal. The way I see it, I own about 1,000 books, so when I am done, I should have 100. The fact that I am actually reading the books is a marvel in and of itself. I was so overwhelmed before I would read a couple of chapters and give up. This is improvement, and it will continue.

I also became a member of my local library. Their selection is fantastic and I hope to add to it very soon. Yes, it might take me a long time to read them all. I might find after the first couple of chapters, that I don't want to read some. The important thing is that every time I grab one, I finish it and set it up on one of three piles: donate, sell, keep. The ones that are getting tossed out don't need to go on a pile. I will keep a spreadsheet of the books and how I do, so that I find out if my projections are correct and if I am keeping my promisses. I will keep you posted. I will keep getting rid of things. I would love to hear from you, specially if you have stories of being a pack-rat. Let's work together.

All dried up?

2009-11-23T08:37:00.002-04:30

I have a system I follow in order to write, work, live. When I write something, I always leave the door open for the next thing. It might be something obvious like "next week we can talk about....", it might be a comment towards the end of a chapter. No matter what, I always know where I am going when I do something, even if it is not obvious to anybody else.

Except for today. I went to AvidDiva to write my regular post, nothing. I checked my files to see if I have something written in the past that I can use today, nada. I looked at my notebook, where I usually have ideas or thoughts that I have gathered during the week, NOT. What happened last week? Where did the inspiration go? What was I supposed to write about?

So, here I sit, without a thought on my head. For once, I am the one who needs some juice to get my morning (and my week) started. I have a business meeting this morning. I am going to concentrate on that. Hopefully by the time I get back, I will have PLENTY to talk about. I am not letting this stop me from making this day great. I hope you have a great day too.

I slept for 8 hours and did not feel guilty abot it. #win5000

2009-11-18T12:18:00.001-04:30

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

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I got out of the house and out of the environment that has been surrounding me for 3 mths in order t... #win5000

2009-11-12T15:35:00.001-04:30

"I am taking care of myself. Are you? If you are, share it with others and compete for a chance at $5000."

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This has to stop

2009-11-10T15:22:00.002-04:30

For the last year, this blog has been a second thought. The AvidDiva site is getting most of my attention, as well as my need to turn this blog into a coaching business.

As you all know, my emphasis has always been on women over 40. For some reason, this blog does not reflect this.

For the next couple of weeks I will be working on my buddy, Papo Piernas website and on my own, AvidDiva. I will also begin redisigning this blog. Keep checking this site for the latest news.

I got out of the house and out of the environment that has been surrounding me for 3 mths in order t... #win5000

2009-11-08T11:16:00.001-04:30

"Let's do this. Let's help each other. Let's win some cash. Let's inspire others."

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A wonderful massage #win5000

2009-11-02T14:42:00.001-04:30

"It is time to stop complaining and start doing things to better your situation, and the outlook for yourelf and others."

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

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Ageless, Boundless, Limitless

2009-10-21T15:36:00.001-04:30

I absolutely love what these ladies have to say. Ageless, boundless, limitless.

Made arrangements to invest in two courses for my self development. #win5000

2009-10-21T12:37:00.001-04:30

"This is a reminder that there are still ways to win money. And this one requires very little on your part, for free."

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Why wait?

2009-10-21T05:14:00.001-04:30

Recently, I've been asking several questions to find out what you want to hear about. The topic of procrastination seems to be a hot button.

You told me you wanted to learn how to deal with delayed tasks. You said that you keep forgetting some of your to-do items. You mentioned you had a lot on your plate.

To read on, press here.

Made arrangements to invest in two courses for my self development. #win5000

2009-10-20T19:55:00.001-04:30

"This is yet another week that I do not post. I want to offer you this reminder, because for every day you post, you get another chance at the $5000."

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

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Win $5000 and inspire others

2009-10-16T15:19:00.000-04:30

Took a huge goal and broke it down into manageable pieces. Now I am actually getting something done... #win5000

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Took a huge goal and broke it down into manageable pieces. Now I am actually getting something done... #win5000

2009-10-14T16:34:00.001-04:30

"Wow. Thanks for the support. Keep at it, develop some proclamations to improve your life."

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

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Cooking a healthy meal that includes couscous, onions, and organic veggies. #win5000

2009-10-13T09:22:00.001-04:30

"Be nice, do good, who knows. Maybe you will inspire someone else to do great things. Maybe you can win $5000. Decide, Act, and Enjoy."

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

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Being organized = Progress

2009-10-12T19:32:00.002-04:30

No organization = no progress. That's all folks.
Right now, I have this situation where I have two living quarters, a house that I pay the bank for in PR, and an apartment rental in Florida. I thought if I made a list for my husband to follow, we could tackle both having things here and there sorted out.

My procrastination (there's that word again)has made it impossible for me to keep up with what is going on in PR and then I have no furniture, car or things here either. What am I supposed to do now?

I need to get a life, stop the fear and break through. Can I do it? Do you have any advice for me? Send your suggestions. Stay tuned.

Welcome a chance to win some $$$$

2009-10-11T16:10:00.000-04:30

Cooking a healthy meal that includes couscous, onions, and organic veggies. #win5000

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

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Cooking a healthy meal that includes couscous, onions, and organic veggies. #win5000

2009-10-10T11:14:00.001-04:30

"Take a chance. Get out of yourself and be an inspiration to others. Who knows, you might actually win a prize."

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

View >>

Cooking a healthy meal that includes couscous, onions, and organic veggies. #win5000

2009-10-09T14:08:00.001-04:30

"Yet another reminder that you can make a difference and win a little money. Get to it."

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

View >>

2009-10-08T21:18:00.000-04:30

Cooking a healthy meal that includes couscous, onions, and organic veggies. #win5000

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

View >>

Bought some chocolate chip cookies and did not feel guilty about enjoying them, once. #win5000

2009-10-07T10:12:00.001-04:30

"Few chances in life for inspiring others and winning a little cash. How about it?"

Make a Proclamation and be entered to win $5,000 to pursue your dream! Enter daily and bring friends to increase your chances of winning. There are weekly prizes too. No purchase necessary.

View >>

Frustration and hard work

2009-09-23T21:46:00.003-04:30

It does not matter how well you get along with others, every once in a while you will feel frustration with some of their behavior. I would be lying if I said that I can motivate all the people around me to do what I ask them to do. And it would also be a fib if I told you hat it never gets to me.

I am sitting here, advertising furniture for sale, announcing it on every network media I can find, setting prices, writing copy. And when I see that my efforts are not met with optimism and enthusiasm, it deflates me. Am I going to let it get me down? NO. I am going to express my feelings about the subject.

For the last three years, I have changed my negative attitude and subscribed to a mentality of abundance. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and that if you want positive results, you need positive efforts. And I expect those people around me to be in tune with that point of view. And so, on this day, September 23rd, 2009 I declare that my family and my friends are going to join in on our efforts to sell the furniture and the house successfully, in order for us to achieve our dreams.

The new 120 day challenge

2009-09-13T23:21:00.004-04:30

I am living in Florida now. My house in Puerto Rico still has all my belongings, and my husband. The new challenge, to get him here without bringing absolutely everything, and to sell the house.

The tools to get this done: sheer determination and a lot of lists.

The goal: to sell my old furniture, which we will be showing here from time to time, pack all my belongings, send them to Florida, clean the house, fix the house, sell the house.

If you have any suggestions, they are all welcome. If you live in PR, stop by and buy some furniture. If you just want to comment, go ahead. We are waiting.

Last but not least, those two units are for sale and that hurts, because I absolutely love them. Tell me your stories. I am waiting.

Frustration

2009-08-31T14:04:00.002-04:30

It has been 19 days since the last time I posted. There is a reason, I don't like to post when I do not have anything positive to report. Today, I am making an exception. The reason is that I figure if I get it out of my chest, I might be able to get some work done.

Frustration is a terrible thing. It can also be a hot challenge. Why am I frustrated? There are a couple of chicken and egg analogies here so stay with me:
1) you need a job to get a car, but you need car to find a job in this town.
2) when I am frustrated, I like to go for a drive to clear my head, but I don't have a car, which frustrates me and since I have no car I cannot go to far.

When people ask how am I doing, they always make the same statement: oh, well, you have public transportation. Obviously, none of those people had to go on the bus to find a job in a town where public transportation is not a priority. The two buses that go by my house are always on time (yeah!!). One drivs by once an hour and the other goes every two hours (boo!!!). That is not including that August is probably the hottest month of the summer and you end up looking like you just came out of the shower...very pathetic. However, since there are many ways to work from home, I am not really worried about finding a job. It is the proving it to the dealership part that puzzles me.

The life of a writer is an interesting one. If you are an artist, a performer or a writer, you understand how easily we block ourselves. We all have our ways of getting through it. Mine is going for a long drive. That is not happening right now, so I started walking. My energy level is up, and so is my frustration. I don't know what else to do. Getting in the bus is just not the same thing. And going to Orlando is not an option either...it takes almost four hours to get there from my house in the bus.

So what is the solution? Any suggestions? What do you do when you feel frustrated? My little rant works for me, what works for you? I am waiting for your comments.

Examining the progress

2009-08-11T07:27:00.002-04:30

IT has been a while since I wrote, mainly because I was busy with the move and my nerves. I don't like flying, I love traveling,except for the getting in the plane part. I am happy to report that I did not freak out on the plane. In fact, I calmed others down. Great experience!

I have spent a week without TV, internet, or radio (except for my IPOD. I can tell you there is a lot to learn about the sound of silence. I think that is the name of a song. It is also a very true statement. You can't help but look at yourself and the world around you in a very different way. News don't affect you that much when you are not stuck to the tv or hearing the play by play. It was fantastic.

So as I start a new chapter in my life, I work on the idea that technology is great, if you are not addicted to it. I will keep experimenting with this idea in future posts. Let me hear what you have to say.

About to start a new chapter

2009-07-29T20:30:00.004-04:30

The last few months just flew by and now I am about to start a new chapter in my life. Will you join me?

In the next couple of weeks you will see a couple of changes to the blog, when I move on from "moving" (pardon the pun) to life changes. It should be an interesting ride for all concerned.

As I start on this journey, something fascinating is happening. First, some background information. I am 42, my daughter is 17 and we are moving from an island in the Atlantic to Florida, where she will be starting college. I am moving on to the next chapter in my life when I stop being overbearing, overprotective mom and turn into "roommate occasionally known as Ma".

My husband said to me a while back that many people would love to be in my shoes. I am currently unemployed and it is his theory that people would love to have the guts to decide one day they want to change their whole lives and just get on a plane and start new. Oddly enough, one of my dearest friends said the exact same thing this morning. She validated his statement.

If truth be told, I am not a big fan of planes and the thought of getting in one terrifies me more than this "new life" I am working on. I am not scared about the journey of my life...I am scared of the three hour plane ride. Once I am there, I am making stuff up as I go. And no, that part does not scare me at all.

If you want to know what happens next, stay tuned.

Why is moving so hard and....

2009-07-16T12:57:00.002-04:30

why am I putting myself through this again? It has been too fast, and now, 16 days before the move, there is a shortage of carton boxes in PR and I can't get my hands on a shipping box in a certain size (so that I don't overpack books) anywhere. What is a girl to do?

So today is a packing day. Why am I sitting in my office writing this message? Because I am wondering what I should pack next. This is a short message. Everything will be great and this is my inspired action. I will be ok and so will everyone around me. Life is wonderful.

Have a great day everyone.

This is week 4, last 27 days

2009-07-05T22:10:00.002-04:30

Interesting weekend, this Independence day weekend. I was able to spend some time with my old friends, and with my daughter's friends. I spent some time clearing my office, and I am considering not selling my house, yet.

So, what does this new week have in store for me? First, I have to get more boxes. Need to pack 20 boxes this week to stay on schedule. My daughter needs to get her shots. I need to double check the dog's shots. I need to buy the plane tickets for all four of us and the dog craddle. I have to check the status of my tax return. I need to clear my office desk, take pictures of the furniture I have not sold yet and start a couple of bids for my Barbie doll collection.

I will keep you posted as the time progresses. There are more things to do, but these are the requirements, everything else I get done is bonus material. I am getting more excited every day that goes by. And I get less sleep. That is ok, I will sleep once I am there.

It is the 30 day deadline today

2009-07-02T18:03:00.002-04:30

Wow! The time has flown by faster than I expected. It has gone by so fast that I have had no time to think of what I am missing or how am I really going to pull this off. Some highlights:
1) I did start packing my books so that my husband can mail them to me as soon as he gets back here. I have ten boxes ready to ship (except for my new address).
2) My daughter is registered and has an orientation on August 5. I have a parent orientation on the 11th. She has a test on the 24th and then start of trimester is the 26th.
3) I am taking my dog when I leave now. I don't have the heart to leave him behind. He is, after all, like my son.
4) I have been able to do some research on the internet of the County where I will be moving and the info I need to register the business, etc.
5) I have done apartment rental research and have some places picked for posible lease.
There are other things that I have accomplished, but the most important is to sell all my furniture so that I have some spare money. Here is my prayer to God: "Let me have some money, great health and a positive attitude to survive and thrive in these circumstances. I refuse to participate in the meltdown mentality. I only have eyes for prosperity, happiness and service. Amen".

Nine boxes...

2009-06-26T09:45:00.002-04:30

I got nine small boxes, 12x12x12, and I started packing them with my books. It is scary how many books you can pack in a little box. Some of those boxes have 38 books in them. They are all different sizes and because the postage varies, I cannot put other things in those boxes. This is fine with me. By the end of today, I am going to need more boxes.

It is close to lunch time. I need bigger boxes for my clothes. I guess I am going out to the family business to see if they have some boxes that need recycling. This has been a long week. Even though I see changes, I feel like I am standing still. Let's see what the next few days bring.

Got some boxes today

2009-06-24T12:58:00.001-04:30

My plan is simple. I am taking my books and my clothes, and my music. The rest I will sell, give away, throw away. Today I bought 9 small boxes to start packing my books. I am finally beginning to see some progress, which is nice, since I am now officially on the last 40 days.

Moving is hard, changing countries is harder. The adventure seems so close now. I am too excited to be upset. I am happy and I accept the challenge.

The countdown continues

2009-06-19T21:22:00.002-04:30

This blog has turned into my diary of a move. Today, I realized that when the clock strikes midnight, I will have exactly 6 weeks before I get on the plane. I have to get a move on.

What have I accomplished? A complete state of panic. I don't have enough time or energy to get this done in 41 days, I tell myself. And then my stomach starts getting ugly on me. I am desperate, but I will not drink a soda...that is bad for me. So I take another water bottle. And another. No alcohol, no Coke, just water. It is beginning to get on my nerves but that is the only thing I can do.

I have lost four pounds in the last two weeks, just by dropping the soda out of my life. I can't backtrack on that progress. My butt is beginning to look like a butt again. I can see something resembling a flat belly. Even my breasts stopped hurting. I am seing progress in one area.

Now all I have to do is channel that energy on other things. I have started to make the move in my business as well, little things that will create a big impact later. Now all I have to do is to get a move on the packing.

I am working on the laundry. I had a problem with the hanging rope, I had none. I could not hang clothes to dry. We solved that yesterday when the last one gave out on us. Hopefully the water company gets moving and we get water pressure and I can do more than a load every three hours (with normal water pressure I can do 3 in those same three hours). I should be done with the clothes on Monday.

I also plan a last Garage Sale next Saturday. I need to clean the furniture (and empty it) so that I can get pics on the Classified and on the flyers. I have great expectations for this next one: the last two made me about $600 and the furniture was not ready yet.

Let's keep a positive attitude and I will keep you informed.

Some days are good....nah, all days are good

2009-06-18T20:37:00.001-04:30

There are days when you wake up and you want to go back to bed. When you are on a countdown that is less than 45 days and you are way behind schedule, you don't need days like these. Your internet connection is not cooperating, your browser is dead, you find out you have to go to a funeral on Friday, you are really behind schedule...what to do?

Well, the solution is simple. Life is challenging. If you don't have challenges, you are dead. The quality of your challenges is directly related to the quality of your life. What do I mean by this? If you find your life boring, your challenges are crappy. If you find your life interesting, so will your challenges. The better the challenge, the better your life is. Yes, it is that simple.

I have an interesting week. So to me, there are no bad days. Good days and challenging days, the more the merrier. Think about it.

How many clothes can three people own?

2009-06-16T22:16:00.002-04:30

It is not a rhetorical question either. I use two hours of my day on the purging process. That means that for two hours every day, I go through the house picking clothes that I am taking to Florida, clothes that I am keeping while I am still in PR, clothes that I am throwing away and the rest goes to charity.

I just packed my bag. It is full, it might fit about three more pieces of clothing. I packed two big bags of clothes for charity. I'm not even halfway done. Every time I empty a closet, I find a box under a bed or another closet to empty. That is not including the six loads of laundry that we have done already, the six or seven we still have to wash and the four bags of clothes I already sent to charity at the beginning of the year. I get tired just looking at the closets.

Tomorrow is another day. I hope that purging will be done. I dream of the day when the only clothes in my closet are the ones I am keeping for now. I look forward to the day I start purging my books...ok, not really. I have enough books for two libraries. Since all I am taking is the books and the clothes, everything else is getting sold, I hope that is all the purging I will do. I have 43 days left and only 38 to do it. I guess I better get back to work.

Keep trying.

No internet access, no problem

2009-06-15T13:33:00.001-04:30

Yes this is a short post. No, I have not finished with the clothes. Since I cannot work on the internet today, might as well tackle the clothes.

What have you left without doing because "life" got in the way? Maybe your workouts, having fun, or tackling that project at home. Get to it. Today is all you have.

Three days for clothes

2009-06-11T20:55:00.002-04:30

My husband gave me a challenge. Instead of running around like a chicken without its head, concentrate on one thing at a time. The first three days are for clothes. Today was the first, and I was lousy.

Ok, so I did not factor in that I had my trainer over today and every muscle from my butt to my toes is on fire. It was also a rainy day, which does not help when you dry clothes in the backyard.

Enough excuses, the important thing is that I started. All the clothes in the house will fall in one of four places: keep, trash, sell, give away. So far, I have four pieces of clothing folded and ready to go with me to Florida. I also have a bag with about 12 pieces going to charity. I think I will not find that much to trash because we did some Spring cleaning of closets earlier in the year...before I knew I was leaving.

So, for the time being, I am looking forward to the next three days. I will let you know how it went on Saturday, and whether I might need more days, or less. Keep trying.

The last of the big events

2009-06-09T12:29:00.002-04:30

Today is my daughter's prom (in Puerto Rico you have the prom AFTER graduation). It is the last of the big events for the family. We are all getting prettied up and getting on the car,driving for an hour to go to a beautiful hotel (La Concha) and we will have a date while my daughter is reunited with all her high school buddies for one last time.

They are all excited, no one more than her mother. Yes, that would be me. As I sit here and remember 24 years ago, my graduation/graduation dinner/prom (all in one night), I think about how fast time goes by. I wonder what new challenges lay ahead. I'm not talking about the move alone, life, as we know it, is changing right now for my family, for my daughter, for me. I am a 42 year old emptynester. I think that is young to be going through that.

Now I am going to have a lot of time for me. Oh, the things I can do now. The jobs I can have, the experiences, the adventures. I served my time as a mother to a baby who grew up to be a wonderful young lady. Now that young lady starts her own adventure. This is the perfect example of what an AVIDDIVA is. It is time for me. But tonight, it is all about the prom. I leave you with this thought: enjoy all the little moments.

I need to simplify my life

2009-06-08T22:04:00.006-04:30

In obvious reference to my other blog (press here to check it out) am now faced with the dilemma of pairing down my belongings. I am planning one last big garage sale in order to accomplish my goals. After that one is done, I will give some clothes to charity and learn to deal with what I own. And so, as the days approach faster and faster, I need to get my things in order.

Today, I set up a search agent for my partner to find work. I checked my search agents for possible jobs for me. I started researching the site for the county I am moving to. And as today marks the fourth day without soda, I nursed the worse headache in history. I think I did pretty good, all things considered. Oh, and I did three sets of squats and two of lunges. I am doing well. I am proud of myself. Keep trying.

Lessons learned from my last course

2009-06-05T10:41:00.002-04:30

I was recently asked to participate in a transformational workshop. I had never participated or spoken to anyone who had done one before. I was told that it was five weekends spread over a 2 1/2 month period. The workshop started on the same day I started counting down my last 100 days in Puerto Rico. It was not explained to me that the last 6 weeks of this workshop entailed more than just spending three weekends working on different aspects of our lives. It also required spending a lot of time working on related activities. If I would have known that six of the last ten weeks I was going to spend in PR were going to be spent in things other than the move, my company and spending time with my family, I would have never agreed to doing the workshop at this time. My energy and concentration must be put to use in the sale of my house, 60% of the things I own, packing the rest and doing as much as I can over the phone and the internet so that when I get to the new place, I have a smooth transition. Still, I believe that the only way you really fail in life is if you don't try anything new at all and/or once you do, if you don't learn anything from the experience. I did not finish the workshop. I did learn a lot. Here are some of the lessons I learned from the three week-ends that I did attend the workshop.

1) There is no such thing as ONE SIZE FITS ALL: The day you hear someone tell you that they have a product, service or system that works for everybody, run in the other direction. It is impossible. We all come from the same source, be it God, the Universe or whatever you call yours. We are not all in the same stage in our "journey". I am not talking about age either. Some young people are highly spiritual and some adults still think that religion and spirituality are the same thing. Since we are not progressing exactly the same way, it is impossible that all services and products will work with ALL persons. In the fields of psychology, sociology, coaching, etc, there are many doctrines. Some work for many people, they do not work for all. Therefore, a transformational workshop might work for some people but if someone leaves, that may mean that it did not work for that person, not that they are sabotaging their own process.
2) The only real failure in life is when you don't learn from your experiences. I kept in touch with some of the people in the group. They have not learned anything from the experience. What is the use of such a costly investment of time, money and energy, if you are going to finish the process and stay the same? That, to me is real failure. In the month that I was in the process, I fixed my marriage, I learned a lot about myself and I discovered that I am not afraid of heights. That might not sound like much, but for me, that is huge.
3) I learned what I want my company to be and what I DON'T want in my company. The company that I am creating wants to transform the lives of so called "middle aged" women. Thanks to this experience, I know exactly the kind of coaching and coaches that I will not allow in my company. For example: I will never allow any of my coaches to tell a client that in order to get a man, she needs to loose weight. If you need to know what I mean, check this out.
4) "Choose to be happy and not to be right" may be opposite to "win-win" mentality. The group was always saying that they chose to be happy and not right. That depends on the kind of person you are. I know a lot of people that choose to be happy because they "know" that they are right and eventually, the other person will figure it out too. I don't think that is what that statement means. Also, when you are in a win-win situation, you give a little and take a little. Giving in all the time certainly does not feel like winning. A lot of the people that were in group with me gave in all the time and felt resentful after. What is the lesson you are trying to teach?
5) You can have it all, not always at the same time. I kept hearing the staff of the company talking about "you can have it all, declare it and it will be". Oddly enough, on my daughter's graduation day, my mentor told me how he could not go to his own daughter's graduation because he had a rush job from a bossy client and since the economy was so bad, he chose to do the work and miss the graduation. If your own staff does not have it ALL, all the time, what do you think your students are going to do? Which takes me to the next lesson...
6) People learn more from what they see than what they hear. You can talk a good game and sound off on positive thinking, thinking outside the box, having it all, etc. You also need to lead by example. If you are telling people to loose weight and you are overweight, there will be a disconnect between the message and the image. When you tell people you can have it all, and you are not showing it, another disconnect happens.
7) Students can only be as good as the people teaching them. This was a new system for all of us. We wanted to learn from good people that were achieving their goals. The group was always accused of "not doing their best". A group can only go as far as their leaders will take them. If you are not a great leader, a great teacher, a great person, do not expect your followers to be any better.

There were many other lessons I took with me from this little journey. The most important one is this: once you figure out what you got from the experience, let it go. I have a company to create from scratch, a move in 60 days and a life that is a lot more fun since I got out of this workshop. Now that I "cleaned my space", I can put it all behind me and move on.

On day 58 take stalk of your debt?

2009-06-03T08:18:00.002-04:30

Today I am taking it slow. We are going out for the day, watching a movie, having a good time. Since it is going to be a slow day for the house, I decided to take an inventory of all the bills we have and figure out how to cut them in half.

I have only a couple of credit cards and the odd bill here and there. I want to create a budget for paying off 50% of these bills. The biggest one, the mortgage, we hope to eliminate entirely, by virtue of selling the house. That would take care of half of our budget. I still want to eliminate the small ones.

So for the day, I am sitting in my office, making a list and checking it twice. Wish me luck and have a great day.

New countdown, only 60 days left

2009-06-01T21:14:00.002-04:30

The actual date has not been set in stone. It seems to be somewhere near August 1st. There are two reasons for this. I am a little behind, and #2, Anna has to be in school on August 24th. We have a couple of days to play with since I want to make sure we are there way before the 24th, to solve some last minute appointments with her school.

I have wasted a couple of weeks in things that I thought would help me as a person. Turns out that my initial impressions, that I am a lot better off than I thought, and that I know what works for me, was right. I don't believe any one system works for EVERYBODY in the world, and if that was true, there would not be a thousand ways to loose weight, many different psychology practices or coaching methods. If we were all the same, we would all wear the same clothes, like the same shoes, see the same movies. If we all had the same likes and dislikes, we would only eat certain foods. Life is as colorful and different for every person as love and tastes are. The same is true for teaching methods. We have regular school, Montessori, etc. We all do not think or act or speak the same way.

It does not make you a bad person to do things your way. It makes you a bad person to do bad things. Those bad things are determined by God's rules, civilized law and your own morals and ethics. Not all people live by the same rules. And that is ok. If you like purple hair and three rings on your tongue, no one should stand in judgment of you. If I want to sell most of what I own to be able to afford to ship what I don't want to sell, that is my concern.

It is often said that we are one. We all belong to the Universe, or God, or whatever definition you believe in. That is true. It is also true that we are all individuals, what you bring to the table is different from what I have for this world. That is what some people call the "Gift". Do not let anyone tell you that there is only one way to do something, to improve your life or to use your gift. In your heart, you know what the way is. If something feels wrong to your gut, if it makes you feel less authentic or less true to yourself, get away from that person or thing that makes you feel that way. In the end they might call you names, they might say you were irresponsible or stupid, they might even call you good for nothing or mediocre. If you are true to yourself and use your gift wisely, success by whatever way YOU measure it, is its own reward. You live in the world and you should only please two entities - God (or however you call the Source), and you.

When August comes, I will have moved on to my next adventure and this chapter of my life will be a distant memory. I will take the lessons I learned from all my experiences, I will continue to grow and evolve and I will always be true to myself. And I will never stop believing in myself and my ability to decide what is good for me and what is not. Sorry if some think I am mediocre, I have lived and continue to live, an extraordinary life. Maybe the naysayers should look inside themselves and ask, why they choose to insult what they don't understand. Keep trying!!!

65 days, the pressure is on

2009-05-25T06:47:00.002-04:30

Wow, how fast the last two months have gone by. I sit here in silence and cannot believe that I have two months left to pack and go. I have accomplished a few tasks:
- I did a garage sale for May
- I got my daughter registered in school
- I started research for the move
This week is special and so I need to get my stuff ready. I am two days away from my daughter's graduation from high school. I am excited, perhaps more than she is. I am looking forward to a great event. She has no idea the surprise that we have for her.
Will let you know about it later.

In the next 65 days, I have to get ready and move. I want to have at least some boxes packed in the next 30 days and all the furniture moved. I can't wait to start my life with fresh experiences in a new place.
Life is what you make of it. If you are happy here, you are happy anywhere. You don't need to leave to be happy. You do need to have hope and faith wherever you go. If you are sad, a new place will not make you happy. If you are happy, life will always be good. Think about it.

Updates on the move

2009-05-07T22:50:00.002-04:30

A few days have gone by since the last time I wrote. There are now updates to the countdown. I am now leaving on the 30th. That gave me two more days. So officially the countdown is 83 days to move to Florida. What have I done to prepare? Honestly, not much.

I do have a date for the first garage sale, May 16th. I do have a letter of admissions for Anna to go to college. I do have the beginnings of an apartment search. And I do have my girlfriend working the garage sales for the kitchen utensils. Other than that, my brain is in a fog.

I have been working through a workshop that is helping me to put into usable form all the stuff that I have been reading lately. It was a God send that Belkis told me about this place. The people in it are great, and the work is short of miraculous. I have more goals than I had before, and maybe that is a good thing.

I don't live in fear anymore, although I admit to some sense of expectancy, of wondering what else will this move bring. I guess all I can say right now is "STAY TUNED"

A new chapter begins tomorrow

2009-04-30T21:56:00.002-04:30

As for the countdown, I have 88 days to make a smooth transition to Florida. I am really excited and a little nervous but I am feeling great about this new beginning.

Tomorrow I start the second stage on a three stage process that is supposed to teach me a lot about myself and help me break through all the barriers that are keeping me from achieving my goals. I am not going to lie, I am very anxious. I don't know what this process is about, but I can't wait to begin.

The first stage was long, painful but also had a lot of fun moments and I learned a lot. I found out that compared to most people, I have a pretty good life and a lot of love. I also learned that some times I isolate myself. I am working on that. I need to trust more. I am working on that too.

Another thing I started doing was seeing a personal trainer. He comes once a week to correct my form and teach me how to improve my legs. Those were always a source of pride for me and I let them go a little. Now I am working really hard to make them look great and perform even better.

More important, I am doing what I preach. I am investing in me. I am putting me first. I am learning to love myself. The rest, will come on its own.

Keep trying.

Choosing to whine or to win

2009-04-29T08:11:00.002-04:30

It is very amusing to watch how many people spend their days whinnying about how bad their life is. I live in a country where everyone owns a car, most people have a place to live and food on the table. Yet, no matter where you go, there will be a couple of people complaining about how bad the economy is...as they sip their beer and eat their chips while relaxing at an air conditioned bar while watching a flat screen TV.

I don't understand the logic. You are dressed, you are eating, you are paying for entertainment. You have it made! What are you crying about. There are people in other countries that live in a hut, have no running water, wash their clothes in the river, eat whatever they get their hands on, probably have no electricity, cook on fire, and they are happy.

I wonder if having more "stuff" makes you immune to the real pleasures in life. Could it be that the more we have, the more we think we are entitled to? Do we actually think that we have a RIGHT to have more just because we live in a civilized society?

I don't know why people complain. But I do know that doing so does not solve any problems and creates more. People who don't value what they have are not in tune with what real needs are. They do not value themselves or their peers and are always looking for the next best thing, keeping up with appearances and making those around them feel like they have more. There is no humble pie for these folks, just greed, inconformity and pain.

I may not have a lot, but I have a roof over my head, clothes, shoes, I eat three times a day and I sleep on a nice bed. I don't have air conditioner, but I have three fans. Sure it gets hot every once in a while, but I sleep. I enjoy everything from the sound of rain to the expensive Godiva chocolates I buy every once in a while. I enjoy life, good, bad, better, worse. And I love sharing with others. I have no time to complain. Life is too short for that.

104 days and counting

2009-04-15T08:53:00.002-04:30

Wow, time does not wait. According to the calendar, I now have 104 days left. And I feel like I have done so little. Let me think about this for a minute...

No more procrastination. I have to get my butt in gear if I want to leave with money in my pocket, a song in my heart, and almost everything taken care off. So, where do I begin?

Last week, I guess, I was feeling so overwhelmed that I got sick and spent most of it in bed or just relaxing. It worked wonders. I am not yet completely recovered, but I have plenty of energy and I am implementing a few ideas that will help me make my move and my business soar.

What are your challenges for this week? Do you have a plan? Did you write it down? Let me know what you are thinking. Enjoy the journey.

Some times you have to give yourself permission

2009-04-09T19:36:00.002-04:30

This is a short post because I have a slight fever and a faucet drip for a nose (between you and me, the sneezing and the watery eyes and nose are more annoying than the fever).

We tend to want to take care of everything and everybody, and some times, we don't give ourselves permission to be sick. We think "Not now, I have so much to do".

I believe that when we get sick, it is our bodies own way of telling us to slow down. And so, I am going to turn the computer off, take a shower, but my pj's on and watch some TV. Then I am going to bed. I give myself permission to do nothing until I feel better. I give myself permission to take care of me first.

Have a good day today and everyday.

Why I am not watching the Biggest Looser anymore

2009-04-08T18:13:00.003-04:30

I would like to start by saying that this post is a personal opinion and therefore, I am entitled by the Constitution to express mine.

I am a huge fan of Biggest Looser. Every season I was inspired by all these people who had lost their healthy ways (some had never developed them to begin with) and Jillian is my favorite. Last season, I became a little disillusioned because one of the contestants (some blond girl who made it to the finals, I believe she was a nurse, but I can't remember her name) was all about playing the game. I felt that her children were not going to benefit from the experience at all, nor would her husband. But being a true Jillian fan, I wanted to see if one of her trainees would win. I was really happy when the beautiful girl won. She and her mom worked really hard at healing themselves and their relationship. I hope they keep it going.

This year, as usual, I started watching for the inspirational stories. A few weeks in, I was a little upset by the drama created by the silver team (or gray). I thought that the show was going in a direction that is not appealing to me, more drama less exercise. The second strike came when Filipe decided to yell at Jillian and Bob did nothing. I am sorry, but if we are both trainers, I can understand Bob taking him back, but I would have gone with Filipe and cleared the air with Jillian first. Besides, Filipe always has an excuse.

The last straw came last night. All that back talking and just playing the game is not what I care about. I want to see the exercise routines, the examples of how to eat healthy. Hell, I even understand the temptations, the idea that you have to decide whether the treat is worth the damage to your new lifestyle. I just got fed up.

In the beginning of the year, one of my new year's resolutions was to watch less TV. I am down to an average of one hour a day. What I usually do is I don't watch TV on Mondays or Wednesdays so that I can watch the two hour episodes on Tuesdays. Well, I guess now I have two hours to use on other days. Because to be honest, I'd rather watch the Travel Channel all day, than to see the drama. At least in the Travel Channel I get Anthony Bourdain, Sam and Dhani's viewpoints on traveling the world.

Don't take me wrong. I do have some guilty pleasures that I watch from time to time. The NYC Housewives come to mind. But the thing is, I tune in FOR the DRAMA. When I tune in to the Biggest Looser, I want to see working out, not working the show. It is discouraging. If that gets more ratings then I am happy for NBC. But they lost one loyal viewer of the show. I might see the finale, but as far as I am concerned, the Biggest Looser lost me.

Decisions, decisions

2009-04-06T16:43:00.002-04:30

Today starts the Holy Week, for those of Catholic persuasion. I was born into the Catholic church, and even though I do not participate in Sunday services anymore, I follow a pretty simple philosophy in life, do unto others. I don't hurt people on purpose because I hate been mistreated. I do not offer my opinion unless asked, because I find people's unrequested opinions annoying. I try to be happy every day and every time I get upset at someone, I still say "God, please fill them with your blessings".

The reason why I mention the week is because most people go to the beach and forget about their spirit. This is the perfect week to get centered and reflect on your life, your plans, replenish your spirit.

I have million of things to do, so do you. What are you doing to become more spiritual? I am sure that you like to improve your skills, you exercise, you eat as well as your budget, time and interests allow. What are you doing to improve your soul? Can you improve your soul? What are your plans for this week? Share them with me. I will be meditating and listing all the tasks I have to complete: from selling my belongings to renting an apartment, before I get there.

Don't forget, if you have any suggestions, write them here. Have a great week.

One day at a time

2009-04-03T22:51:00.002-04:30

Today, as far as planning, was a complete waste. However, I did go to the beach, which I had not just sat and enjoyed water in God knows how long. I took my cousin to eat one of the best pizzas, Dannys. I started a cd compilation of my senior high school pics, for an event tomorrow.

Even though I did nothing personal, I managed to enjoy myself, nature and feel the love of my people. I kind of miss that. Even though I am home, trying to start a company, raise a daughter, keep my family happy and get a life, the day to day gets so busy that sometimes we forget to enjoy life. It was a good day for me spiritually.

How good was your day? Did you do something today to nourish your soul? Did you do something silly and meaningless that brought you joy? Something that brought joy to others? Do something for yourself every day, and see how you feel better about life.

New Challenge

2009-04-02T14:26:00.001-04:30

So it begins. Two Sundays ago, I decided to move back to the states, for good this time, or maybe not.... So now I have 113 days, and I have to get the house ready, my daughter ready, my business ready and myself. The whole point of being an avid-diva is that I have to be ready for anything. Challenges are the interesting part of the journey.

It is time to begin. Please feel free to send me your comments and suggestions along the way. I am looking forward to your advice, your observations and input.

Let's go.

New things and changes to the blog

2009-01-26T21:08:00.006-04:30

I have a new blog. The new blog is moving more towards documenting the transition from just a girl loosing weight and trying to stay motivated, to a woman who wants to own a business and loose weight at the same time. You can check it out at www.aviddiva.biz.

There are changes taking place in this blog as well. For the new year, this is going to serve as my blog for the challenges of improving my health and forgetting the weight issues. There will be more movie blog posts on this blog, and I am hoping that you will follow the transformation.

Stay tuned and keep trying.

Looking ahead at 2009

2008-12-24T15:01:00.000-04:30

I am a firm believer on the power of intentions. I intended for 2008 to be a very special year, and so far, I cannot complain. What I am wishing for 2009 is more and better than this year that just went by (and is about to end next week).

I am hoping that the next year brings me more health, a stronger body, a happier outlook, and better cooking skills (let's face it, I suck at cooking).

I am wishing for the new year to bring about the birth of my new company and that we hit the ground running, because I have many plans for all around me.

And for last, I am expecting that everybody I know, whether personally or through the different social networks I belong to on the internet, has the best year ever in 2009.

What are you wishing for?
Keep trying.

Elizabeth and Cal

2008-12-09T19:12:00.003-04:30

"People who haven't experienced absolute loneliness for long stretches of time can never sympathize with it at all". Elizabeth Bishop, June 30th, 1948

A friend of mine recommended a book to read. This is a friend that I care for deeply and who's opinion I respect. The book is based on the correspondence between two poets of the 20th century. They were friends and wrote letters to each other for 30 years. The book, so far, is fascinating. Although, some times I feel like I am spying on some very personal information, and at other times I feel like i am getting a pick at the gossip of the literary figures of the time.

There is a reason why I mention this book in a blog about motivation and health. The quote at the beginning is something that stays on my head long after I read it. Loneliness has nothing to do with how many people you are surrounded by. And only people who are lonely for long periods of time understand this quote.

For those of us who struggle with our self esteem and out health, loneliness is a double edge sword. We crave the time when people are not scolding us about our weight and other personal issues. But if we create an invisible wall and stay within it, we feel lonely and misunderstood. So where should we draw the line? What should we do?

I don't have an answer yet, I guess somewhere in between. I need to be alone to create and to write. I want to be alone when I exercise because I don't want anyone to see my "flaws", but I wish I could share with the people around me some of the struggles of the daily life. And not feeling like I can share my feelings without being judged has created a wall, that I am not ready I want to bring down just yet. Where is the line drawn? As soon as I figure it out, I will let you know.

Keep trying.

Finished the list, now let's get to work

2008-12-04T09:12:00.002-04:30

After what felt like a lifetime ( it was more like four days) I finished my list. Oddly enough, once I got to 85, goals just started pouring out. Even last night I was dreaming of new goals to put on the list. Interesting!

But now, the job is not done. You see, when you make a list of goals, you have to start working on ways to achieve them. You have to create an action list, transport it into your daily to do list and get cracking. What have I achieved today, at 9:44 AM?

I know there is laundry to be done, a house to clean, things to arrange, but to me, right now, the most important goal is to learn as much as possible. To build a business the way I want it, I have to start with a business plan that will serve more as a storyboard. This is what I want and how I want it to be. Then, I will have to make a list of the tasks that I have to do to make it so. And as I go building my storyboard, I am studying and analyzing the experts, to see what they did and how they did it. I am looking for ideas to bring to my project and make them part of my strategy. I AM READY!

I want a business where I can teach people what I am learning on my journey. Two months ago I said no more soda. I have not being perfect. I've had some soda and a couple of ice cream missteps, but I am still trying. And the one thing I discovered is that those things I felt I needed to sweeten my day (like the ice cream and the soda), I don't need them anymore.

Little things like that will make for an experience that will transform my life. Every little bit helps. I hope you never stop trying.

Keep trying.

Still working on that list of goals

2008-12-03T12:27:00.002-04:30

You would think that wanting so much stuff, filling a list of 101 things you want before you die should be easy. Well, it is not. After five days, I only have 66 and some of them are downright dowdy.

I do have some lofty goals and ambitions, and some silly but cool ones, but I cannot, for the life of me, think of more than 66. I could separate every country in Europe and add about seven or eight individual goals, but that would defeat the purpose of goal #40, live in Europe for a year. When I wrote that I thought about being the nomad, spending a month in each country, traveling by train.

So many things I want to do with my life, but when I am asked, so many becomes not enough. I would think that having anything you want, no limits, would be so great that I would make the list in an hour. It is, in reality, so overwhelming, after five days I am still 44 goals short. Anybody has any suggestions?

Keep trying.

Goal setting - writer's block

2008-11-28T22:30:00.002-04:30

I am reading a book that challenged me to write a list of measurable goals. Things like: trip to Italy in the summer of 2010 or learn to scuba-dive and get certified by the summer of 2009. I have the piece of paper and the pen ready, and to my shock, even though I have tons of goals, I get writer's block.

What is so hard about putting goals on paper? Could it be that my brain knows that once they appear on paper I have to work on achieving them? And that terrifies me? Wow, what a dilemma.

I don't know why all of a sudden I find it so hard to get through this. I know it has something to do with the seriousness of my intentions. I have every intention on following through on that list. I know I can do it, but fear is paralyzing me.

I will not give up on my dreams. I will not sit here and pretend that I don't have goals and dreams I want to reach. I will not fake my way through life anymore. I will do what needs to be done, to get my goals on paper and start working towards achieving them. This time, fear is not going to stop me. I will keep trying.

Celebration's over, its time to go back to work

2008-11-24T15:08:00.002-04:30

My birthday was on Friday and I had a great time. I went to a fancy restaurant with my girlfriend. We went to a couple of different places. We had fun. Then I got home at 1:30 AM and had to help at work (at 3:00 AM) so I was up until 5:30 AM. It has been a long time since I had lived through a 23 1/2 hour day. It was fun, but harder than in the past. But then I got up at 10:30 AM to get ready for a lunch date with another BFF. She invited me to lunch. We had a great time as well.

So now, I have all this great places I tried for the first time, and I would like to go back to. And the best part is the food was exquisite. Now I have to up my workouts. So, this morning, I did 15 min. on the stationary bike, 20 to 25 minutes of salsa lessons and about 10 mins. of weight bearing, upper body exercises. I feel like a million bucks. And this afternoon I have a 30 min. walk.

I guess the good part about November is my birthday celebrations usually last most of the month. The bad thing is that they are over and I have to go back to life. But, I have great memories, and I am already planning to have an even bigger party next year...when my birthday is on a SATURDAY.

Not everything has to be work or workout. Some times, it is OK to have fun. Keep trying.

What is my purpose in life?

2008-11-16T12:43:00.002-04:30

As the 21st approaches, and I am getting ready to celebrate my forty-second birthday, I am inspired by one of many books I am reading to come up with a purpose for my life. As I sat down and did the exercises that helped me create such a goal, I started thinking about the direction of my blog.

I am not only here to loose weight (I have now spent ten days at 199), but to inspire others to achieve their potential. I hope that my good times will teach others things to try and my mistakes will serve as inspiration...at least I am willing to try new things in order to get healthy and look good. This is the one place where I have kept my thoughts for the longest time. I should embrace my purpose in life and teach through this.

So, you may be wondering, what goal did I come up with? What is my purpose?

My purpose is to use my creativity and my ability to learn on the fly to teach others and help them achieve a world in which we all take care of the planet and each other.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to do it, and how to make a living while doing that, and I will be in the right path. Keep trying.

From happiness to dissapointment all in one day

2008-11-04T18:56:00.002-04:30

Today, I finally broke the 200 pound line. I officially weight 199.6 pounds. And I am still at that time of the month when I am retaining water. I screamed when I saw that. I was really happy. I was excited for the day ahead, election day. It is a new day and I have a great outlook.

Now, it is 7:30 PM and the election results for PR are in. The people of the Commonwealth of PR just elected a man that is turning this country over to the 100 richest people in the country in order to "revive" the economy. When have you ever seen a millionaire do something for the good of the "people". When a millionaire is into making money for his company or his business, he does not give a damn about anyone else. There are only a few notable exceptions to that rule, like Oprah and Tiger Woods, but even Ted Turner and Bill Gates made huge fortunes BEFORE they decided to help others. I'm astonished at the results, but it all goes to show you, people will do the weirdest things.

So I am upset about the results and extremely dissapointed. However, I am not going to sit there and eat and have yet another reason to get upset. I am going to clean my office and start working towards the next twenty pounds. I am going to make an action plan for the party I have on the 15th, and I am going to plan my birthday. And then, I will sit down and figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Because the life I have now, in the place that I am now, is not healthy for me. Hopefully tomorrow I will be in a better mood, but right now, I am giving myself permission to be upset, without stuffing myself with food.

Keep trying.

Proud achievements

2008-10-29T18:18:00.003-04:30

Small post, just wanted to update.

Since Oct. 2nd, 2008 I have lost five pounds. I had one cup of soda in the last 26 days and that was enough to sour on the whole experience. How I miss Cokes, but I did say boycott. Other sodas do not taste the same, and so, the urge to drink soda is greatly diminished by my ethical conscience.

I have also started walking again, and have accumulated 22 miles in the last nine days. My legs are feeling like jello but I can see muscles begin to make an appearance. Hopefully, my goal of loosing 20 pounds by Christmas will be easily accomplished as I add more exercises.

On the personal stuff - I am working on rediscovering who I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have made some progress and I know that for now, I do not want the rat race, even if that means making more with less money.

Whatever happens, gotta keep trying.

The power of words

2008-10-22T17:17:00.002-04:30

An interesting thing happened to me yesterday that elicits the words I used in my title. I went to dinner with some friends (we keep in touch through emails and facebook, and we see each other once a month) and one of this friends just came back from a cruise. She was upset that her diet efforts had suffered as a consequence because she had gained two pounds, after loosing eight (I think). I explained to her that the average weight gain in a cruise is 5 pounds (I gained 5, another friend gained 8, offering further proof that the average is correct). I also told her that the important thing is that she got back on track. Yesterday, before I saw her, her facebook profile update stated that she was exercising. I congratulated her on getting back on track.
Here is where the power of words come into play. When I got to dinner, she mentioned that my messages were keeping her going. I wrote those messages to keep her doing what she is doing, to do it in a healthy way and so that she does not feel discouraged when "life" throws you a curve ball. What I had no idea was that when she told me how they made her feel, I felt really good about myself. Not only do I practice what I preach but I actually made an impact on someone else, even if it is small. And that made me feel like a million bucks. So no matter what happens or the challenges ahead, keep trying.

Storm took a detour but I am exhausted

2008-10-15T19:41:00.002-04:30

Ok, I'm not going to lie. I hate hurricanes. I don't see it as an opportunity to reflect on life or anything. I see it as a pain in my side and yet another test to my ability to stay home without going absolutely crazy.

Well, guess what? The storm never came. We are only going to get loads of water in the next ten hours. All I am praying for is that they don't start until I see the finale for Project Runway.

I am exhausted and in no mood to write, but I know that only by saying exactly how I feel, can I look back in a few months and see where I was and where am I going.

In a more positive note, I am taking a short course on ivillage.com about creating a web site. I love it, even though I waited for the last possible minute to take it (I have until Friday and I started last night). But to be honest with you, I've learned so much in the first three lessons that if I don't get a chance to finish the other three, I know I will be on my way.

Hopefully it will help me jazz this up a little bit...or myspace. Keep trying.

Storm's brewing and you need to keep your cool

2008-10-14T14:26:00.002-04:30

Small post today, we are getting ready for a tropical storm here.
That is the reason for my post. Usually, this would be the perfect opportunity to stray from your goals for several reasons:
1) you are anxious
2) your food choices are dictated by whether you have electricity, gas stove, etc.
3) it's raining outside and you are stuck indoors.

This year, I thought more carefully. Yes, I got the token canned goods in order to have a hot meal at some point (I do have a gas stove and cook top). But I also have some fruit for a couple of days, plenty of water, tuna with crackers and other goodies that will make this healthier than usual.

Even though I do want to take advantage of the opportunity and get some soda (in a can), I am making sure that we have plenty of water, some natural juice (for variety) and milk, and a beach cooler that holds the ice temperature for up to five days (we have tested it a couple of times and it works, even in hot weather). The beach cooler can hold a water bottle, a juice bottle, a milk bottle and about three days worth of food, if needed.

As far as the exercise and the anxiety, I have a stationary bike and a stationary butt and leg exercise machine which are both great for aerobic workouts. I also have free weights and enough rip sheets from the magazines to keep me occupied, even if we have no electricity. And I saved some water to be able to take some sort of bath if the water is also taken away.

So, I am ready. Now I have to give up my computer while I finish setting up. Tell me what you think, and if you have some suggestions, send them anyway. I might be able to see them here or with our laptop computer.

Keep trying and don't forget to write.

Discoveries, observations and truths

2008-10-13T13:20:00.002-04:30

This weekend was full of discoveries. I discovered that my past was embarrassing enough that I was letting it drive my future. And once the word was out about my past, it did not hold that power anymore. What am I talking about? Allow me to explain.
There are two things in my life that I have always kept hidden about myself:
1) I was anorexic in my late teens and when I was 20.
2) I was raped when I was 20 and drugged and raped again at 25 (by a different person).
Oddly enough, the first time, I was 105 - 110 pounds. And I thought I was beautiful back then. When I was 25, I had recently given birth and lost a whopping 40 pounds (back at 130 after 9 months and 170 pounds on the day of my daughter's birth). Somehow I associated being raped with being skinny. I guess subconsciously I figured, if I'm fat no one will touch me. But I was miserable.
Why did I become anorexic? That is a totally different story. When I was in high school, I weighted 120 pounds. I remember everyone talking about the freshman 20 when I started college. But because I already felt fat at 18 years old, I could not let that happen. And besides, it was so easy to fake my way through a meal. Breakfast was always a blur in my house. Back then, my first college class was at 7 AM which meant that I had to leave my house at 5 AM to avoid traffic and get a good parking spot. Lunch was even easier: I would fill my tray in the cafeteria with all the goodies my friends liked and for every spoonful I got, they would all take one (in our table, there were always about 8 or 10 boys and about the same amount of girls and I always had the boys around to feed). Nobody ever noticed. And then, by the time I got home, more often than not, if I said I ate at school, everyone believed me. But then, two years later, the rape happened and I blamed myself, for being so skinny.
Observations and truths: I've been holding it in for twenty years. I guess all the exercise and eating right was not working because in my heart, I am still that young girl who thinks men can hurt me if I am skinny and powerless. Boy, do I have a lot of work to do to work this out. But the most important thing is that now that is all out in the open, I have seen nothing but support from both family and friends. Even those who don't know me personally are being extremely supportive. And I thank them all on my way to recovery.
Keep trying.

Three days later - I'm holding on out of fury

2008-10-06T10:50:00.002-04:30

On Friday night I vowed not to drink my favorite soda out of sheer fury because of government corruption and businesses who thought they "owned the government". I am happy to report that I did not have soda on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Except for a 15 minute episode last night, where I was having a snack and I could have really used my Coke, I decided to use a trick I learned from Tony Robbins and shift my focus to something completely different. It worked great.

When my friend L stopped drinking soda (due to his diagnosis of diabetes), the first effect was what I called the "bursting of the bubble" syndrome. My interpretation; all that soda pop has the effect of inflating you like a balloon, and when you stop taking it, you deflate. In less than a week he looked ten pounds slimmer. Unfortunately, he discovered Zero drinks and has gained all that balloon look back. But his sugar is stable without medication. I am beginning to see the same effects on me, which is why I explained his situation.

This morning, I had no trouble zipping up my jeans to walk to the post office. Usually, when I wake up in the mornings, I feel bloated. Today was the first day I did not feel that way. I can see the veins in my feet again and I am hoping that in the next few weeks, I will be able to stop taking the water retention pills that have become part of my daily regimen.

It is my belief that everything happens for a reason. I needed a powerful reason to stay away from soda, yet will power alone does not really work for me. I wanted something that made me swing into action. I was able to find that help in an external situation. I do not like the way policing agencies like the Feds and the local police authorities deal with crime. The idea to give in to one crook to catch another is merit less. I believe that they should receive some sort of punishment. But until the time comes when this agencies do something, I think my hard earned dollars can do the talking for me. And if my body finally gets that last push it needs to start showing all the exercising that I am doing, even better.

Keep trying.

Political scandals and my weight loss goals collide

2008-10-03T21:28:00.002-04:30

Yesterday, a PR senator was accused of taking bribes and changing legislation outcomes. He was charged with 31 federal charges. I have been following the story for a while, because this is one of our most colorful and controversial characters. He is also either loved or hated by the people of the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico. It is my version of the " telenovela".

As I read the charges filed, it started to annoy me that he was being charged, but the 12 people that gave him the bribe money, after testifying for federal authorities get no punishment for their role in the shopping for political favors scheme. It really ticked me off. So last night, I sat down and after reading all the charges and the descriptions of the people only mentioned as "Persons 1 through 12", I decided to use the document to try to figure out who these 12 people were. If the Feds did not want to tell me, I could look up the legislation mentioned, ask around and figure it out for myself. I spent 3 hours doing it and came up with a couple of them.

Today, in a political analysis show, they confirmed my suspicions and gave me the pieces of the puzzle I was missing. And so, I decided not to sponsor any of the companies involved. If they are not going to get punished, at least they are not getting my money.

What does that have to do with my weight loss goals? As it turns out, my daughter and I have a challenge. The main point in the challenge is she who drinks less soda and eats less ice cream in the next 90 days wins a $100bill on December 31. My poison of choice is Coke and hers, Sprite. Both are bottled and sold by the same company, along with some other favorites of ours: Malta India, Canada Dry, Hawaian Punch, Peroni beer, Sprite Zero, Diet Coke, Dr. Pepper and my personal favorite, Perrier water. I guess I should have mentioned that Persons 1 through 12 were business leaders.... guess what is Person's 1 business. I guess as long as I live in Puerto Rico, I have a great motivation not to touch a Coke ever again...and I love drinking the stuff in a glass full of ice, and the bubblier the better. I said goodbye as soon as I confirmed I was right. What a shame.

The other people on the list, some are Trash companies, lawyers, business tycoons, and other idiots of industry. I think they are as guilty as the pig who took the money, and if he is charged, the least the Feds should have done, is make it impossible for these people to operate companies in any American territory. But nothing will happen to them... and that is sad.

There is something really wrong with our justice system, where getting the bad guy automatically means letting go of the other imbeciles. They should all pay. If they are confessing, a lessser sentence should be imposed, liscences revoked, lawyers disbarred. They should not get off and continue to take our money. In fact, in the case of the bottling companies and the lawyers, their clients or business associates should remove them from their business. God knows, I will have a hard time buying a Coke or a Sprite again. I will probably do a little research of the country I visit to make sure that the bottling company is not involved in any unlawful or questionable activities.

For now, it makes me happy to know that I have a great incentive to win the bet. Unfortunately, no ice cream companies were involved in the scandal, and the weather in PR is in the 90's this week. That leaves me wide open to sheer will power. I will keep you informed.

Keep trying.

What is eating me up?

2008-10-02T13:40:00.002-04:30

As I commented a few weeks ago, I am having trouble sleeping. I don't really know if it is too much on my plate or not enough. I don't know if it is boredom, the economy, stress... what I know is that it is driving me nuts, and making it even harder to sleep.

Add to that the fact that I am a little sick, and it makes it worse. I can't sleep at night but then I have to sleep during the day, or I need to take a nap because I am exhausted. I need to get back on a schedule of some sort, but I am so far gone that I don't know where to start.

So today, I am sitting down with my notebook and jotting down some ideas of where I want to go, short term goals and long term goals. I am writing a plan of action and the first few action steps and I am organizing my life, one week at a time, with plenty of time for life's normal interruptions. Let's see how that works.

Keep trying.

I need to get some sleep

2008-09-26T00:16:00.003-04:30

Ok, the only reason why I am writing is because I have not done it in a couple of days, and also because, I do need to add sleep to the equation.

I am not getting enough sleep. I don't know if I am overtly excited, tired, bored or just anxious. I don't care, but if anyone can give me suggestions so that I can sleep better, I really apreciate it.

In the meantime, check out my friend's Nomad little video called Self Esteem, important at any age.

Self esteem video from my friend Nomad.

Dale Carnegie and his secret to success

2008-09-18T22:15:00.002-04:30

As I keep pursuing the dream of a life well lived, I came across a story about Dale Carnegie. It stated that when he was close to retiring, a man asked him what the secret to success was. Dale told the man that every day he wrote down five things on his to do list. He would not move on to number two until number one was finished. If he got distracted he would retake his list as soon as possible. Apparently, he did not go to bed until all five items on the list were finished.

I like the idea of a five step to do list. It is certainly more achievable than a twenty or thirty point to do list. So I gave it a shot. And you know what? It is harder than it looks. As I have three main goals, I decided to have three items for the personal income goal, one for my health and one for my home decoration and organizing. Today I had done four out of the five items by 3:00 PM. Yet, I find myself at 10:50 Pm trying to complete the fifth item on my list.

Life gets in the way. I think that is why there are only five points to his list. He was taking into account not only the normal day to day strife. I think he knew that procrastination could get the best of you. But there is something to be said for having four things crossed off your list and wanting to cross that last one.... I will stay awake until I finish. I am after all, a perfectionist. Maybe I finally found a plan that works for me. I will keep you posted.

High Fructose Corn Syrup - the commercials

2008-09-15T15:53:00.003-04:30

A personal trainer I subscribe to sent a post letting us know about these commercials. I am not doing them the favor of linking them to my message or the website behind them. But when I saw the commercials, I thought it was a joke. And then I got angry, and after five minutes I started trying to find ways to let people know that sometimes you need more than facts.

Yes, HFCS is made of corn, which I guess means, it is natural, and it might even have the same calories as sugar. But that does not make it good for you. The only sugars that are good for you, are the ones that are naturally living in those fruits and vegetables you eat. If you have to add something to a product, it stops being the "natural" version. And HFCS is a processed thing, which means that at some point, a machine or a human messed with it. I believe that trumps being natural.

I gave all the people involved a simple example. R is a young, relatively healthy, 41 year old male. Last year, exactly, one year ago, he was diagnosed with diabetes. His sugar level was over 500 (that is the maximum the machine will show and his was so high the machine could not give an accurate reading). A week after, his sugar was at 350. By the way, healthy sugar level is below 100. In fact, when you wake up, before you eat, your sugar should be around 80 or less, I believe. After a month on medication to stabilize his sugar level, he was able to kick the medication with one simple change to his diet - stay away from HFCS. Even though we've had months when he exercises 3 to 4 times a week, and months when he can't, his sugar level has kept normal ranges. I think the proof is in the example.

Why is this initiative being distributed? I guess because it is a multi-billion dollar company who is beginning to feel the pressure of the consumer and decided to defend themselves. Don't let them confuse you, no sugar is really healthy. And the sugar they are talking about, that white powder that you put in your coffee in the morning, is processed. Real sugar comes from a cane, and is not good for you unless you are getting your sugar from fruits and vegetables. And the more sugar you consume, the less you taste it. Your taste buds are so full of sugar they no longer feel it. Don't give in to this tactic. Stay away from High Fructose Corn Syrup.

New week, new challenges

2008-09-15T12:29:00.002-04:30

Today, I am posting small. Maybe later it will be bigger.

It has been an interesting week full of challenges. I decided to take a different approach, not let things bother me as much. I think God is trying to test my fortitude. We had negative behaviors in our neighborhood association, negative behaviors in my daughter's school, and a little matter of an aging parent with the kind of disease you would not wish on your worst enemy.

Except for the ailing parent thing, I think I have been able to discuss without getting too excited and seeing it for what it is, their problem, not mine. The ailing parent is mine, although the disease is his, the thought of loosing him is my problem and I have to learn to deal with it. Hopefully, in the next few days, I will see the sunshine in that as well.

Keep trying.

Answers to some tough questions

2008-09-12T22:08:00.002-04:30

I am reading a book which, I will recommend, or not, when I finish reading it. This book asks four questions on the second chapter that I will be answering here, in public. I believe that if I am honest and straight forward, I will get more out of the experience of the book and it will validate what I am thinking and feeling as truth.

1) What is bothering me most right now?
There are several things that are bothering me right now, both physical and emotional.
I have come to realize that I am living in a very absurd society, where not one person, is willing to take responsibilities for their own situation. As I am learning now, there is your business, my business, and God's business. The problem is when your lack of concern for your business creates a situation where your negative energy can affect my business. We live in a neighborhood where it seems that there are two sides on the issues that pertain to the neighborhood and both sides are more interested in being right than they are about doing the right thing. Since I live in this neighborhood, at the end of the day, this affects my standard of living, and it is causing some stress.
The second thing that it is bothering me a little, is the education system in my country. Today, my daughter was supposed to be in a review at school for the college board exam. But the kids decided to go on strike (apparently, in my country, the only way to fix anything is by going on strike). My daughter came home and she was disappointed. That is not my problem, it is hers, but her disappointment hurts me.
The third thing that is bothering me is that I am always tired. Whether I eat right or not, sleep well or not, and exercise, or not, I still feel tired all day. I try not to lay down because if I did, I would probably sleep all day and all night. Out of the three, I realize, the only one that is my problem is the last one.
2) What do I think are the material causes? What have I tried? What works? What does not?
For the first thing, the cause is the immaturity of the members of the neighborhood in question. I am working on a letter that I will be sending the association to start observing what they are actually doing to improve the conditions of my neighborhood.
For the second one, the causes are a few ill intentioned people, the Health Department, the Water Department, the school administration and the students. Apparently this is not a new problem, but instead of letting the parents know, the kids took the law into their own hands. In the meantime, it does not seem that the administration is doing a great job.
On the third problem, the causes seem to be inadequate diet and lack of medical care. Due to our current economic situation, I hesitate to go to the doctor because right now I have no insurance and if my doctor finds something before I get the insurance, then it will be deemed a pre-existing condition and not be covered. I have tried to sleep more, eat better and exercise at least half an hour a day. It seems to be working some times.
3) What are the emotional components?
All the problems cause me stress, which makes me hiper, which probably has a hand on making me feel even more tired.
4) Is there a higher lesson? Am I taking it in or resisting?
If I was still working I would think that the higher lesson is relax and take care of less stuff. But I am not working right now. I think the lesson is still, relax and don't try to bite more than you can chew. Some times I do it right and some times I just take on even more responsibility.

Walking - not good only for the benefits of exercise

2008-09-10T21:48:00.002-04:30

Yesterday, I took a five mile walk with the company I keep. This person offered interesting insight on my personality and helped me cleared up what I should do for the next few months. During this walk, we exercised the body and the mind and cleared some cobwebs out of mine, specifically.

I feel frustrated (like most unemployed people do from time to time). It is not a good combination to feel blue about loosing a job (it is kind of loosing a little part of yourself), feeling like things are not going well (because you live far away from anything and you have no means of transportation) and broke. It is the kind of combination of things that make you think "Oh, what the hell, I might as well have another cookie".

But you need to look beyond the sad circumstances and think more creatively. Thanks to this walk, I exposed myself to a little vitamin D, had some fresh air (walked on the beach), cleared the mind and came up with some really great ideas. That was not the only benefit. My legs got a little stronger, my cheeks got a little color and my outlook is not that gloomy. Bring it on.

And you, keep trying.

Peace, happiness...all feelings are a choice

2008-09-08T10:26:00.004-04:30

As I prepare myself to take this blogging thing seriously, I remind myself that all feelings are a choice. On other occasions, I have talked about the accountability of a person. You choose what happens to you. It is the law of attraction. You also choose how you react to something, and you definitely choose how you feel about everything.

As I am doing more research into what motivates me, as a human being, and prepare for some big changes that are coming in my life, I remind myself...happiness is a choice. If you decide to be happy, nothing that happens around you can change that.

This weekend I was watching Oprah Winfrey's Soul Series, and a lady by the name of Byron Katie made a comment that stuck with me: there is Your business, Others business and God's business. You only have control over your own.

As I prepare to do many new things in the next few months, and plan my daughter's graduation trip, her change from high school to college, and help her in the admissions and selection process, I rejoice in the opportunity of a new beginning for her. Most people assume that I am going to get depressed and terrified because she is my only daughter and I cannot live without her. I am not sad that she is leaving, I am happy. She needs to start her own life, hopefully a happy one. But that is her problem, not mine. I am just a mother that loves her daughter. That is my reality, and as far as I can see, that is not a problem.

You choose how you feel about everything. Choose wisely and keep trying.

PS. The people in the picture are my brother (RIP), myself, and the baby that is no longer a baby and going to college next year. I am very proud of her.

Why do I keep saying that I am going to take it serously

2008-09-07T11:56:00.002-04:30

and then I don't. I have been thinking about this for a while, and this entry might be longer than usual, but I just want to try to figure this out.

I've been coasting for the last few months. After being fired on April 30th, I decided that I was going to look for a job after coming home from my niece's graduation in May. On May 21st, we had a car accident. The car runs, barely, but the driver's side door is unable to open. This is a 1999 Sunfire, and maybe you don't know what that means. It means that the front seat has a parking break, a stick and a storage device, between the two front seats. Getting from the passenger seat to the driver seat has now become a great form of exercise. It has also caused a couple of competitions to see who can do it faster without destroying their pants or getting stuck in the process. (My personal best is 12 seconds, but I am either wearing exercise pants or jeans.) You need to keep in mind, both drivers are 200 pounds. Not an easy thing to do or see.

During this time I have been looking for work using the internet and the newspaper mostly, but I am not getting any callbacks. I am sad and relieved at the same time. Getting in the car is a pain, getting out of it is embarassing, and the crisp, tropical weather makes both things impossible without sweating profusely and ruining your makeup. Did I mention that the car's air conditioner, along with the cooling system, are dead?

I had decided that getting a job was second to making an opportunity from home. However, just like my exercise routine, I can't get a headstart. I have been procrastinating, my office is a mess, and none of my ideas are fully developed yet. So I decided to take a step back, last month, to figure out what the problem was. And then life got in the way.

Today I decided to clear the top of my desk, if it is the last thing I do, organize my work materials and figure out two things:
1) What do I really want to do with my health and body
2) What do I really want to do from home, or ouside, or better yet, to earn my keep.

It has been four hours since I woke up. I do not sleep a lot nowadays, I went to bed way after midnight last night. But I did read, either last night or today, something that caught my attention. I get this e-zine every day and the main man on it wrote a message that asked the question: are you an information user or an information junkie? I don't know, I read the article carefully and feel conflicted. I have a million books in my house. I like to read. I want to read all of them. I have purchased a few information programs. I have used them with limited results. I decided to take the quiz to make sure. The results, inconclusive. The quiz stated that if I was an information junkie, I would score an 8 or more. I scored a seven, due mainly because one of the questions said something about purchasing an info product that cost $1000 or more. If I have to be perfectly honest, the only reason why I have not done that is because I don't have the money. So now what? How do I feel? Was this a great insight? What's going on in this mess in my head?

I really don't know. I have a lot of information, ideas, thoughts and feelings all scrambled inside my head. The difference with me is, I have no idea where to start or what to do with all of it. So I decided that maybe if I take one step at a time, any step, I will find my way. Ok, then here it goes.

For my health and body: I am going to my personal fitness site - you know the kind, you pay a fee and you have access to a personal trainer's group. I am going to sit down for an hour and add to the chat rooms, get a little support and print the menu and the exercise routine for tomorrow (Sunday is my day off from exercise, although I walk on Sundays for stress relieve). I am going to sit down after that and make a list of possible topics to have on my blog this week. And then I am going to gather some info from another site that I participate from - this one is free because I have several exercise videos from this company.

For my work at home or anywhere idea: for the third time this year, I am going to revamp my resume. I am going to send it to at least five places this week. I am also going to set the deadline for reading the last info product I purchased. I will finish reading (just reading, not doing anything yet) on Friday, and then I will take one step by Friday also.

Why am I going so simple? Because maybe if I start anything at all, I will find my momentum and do more than I have in the last few months. Keep trying.

Bullies, what they do to your health and well being.

2008-08-26T11:37:00.002-04:30

I just saw a commercial for something called online bullying, something about talking trash on the internet because it is anonymous and people not having the balls to say it to your face.

I have been bullied all my life. When I was in middle school, the coolest kid in the class used to call me "witch" because I was so ugly. Back then, he was not considered a bully, he was just considered cute. I used to have a crush on said bully, so I did not protest either. At the end of 7th grade, I slapped him twice and told him never to call me a witch again....I also reminded him that as a close, personal friend, I had a lot of dirt on him. He stopped.

When I went to high school, I moved to a new town, Dorado,PR. The kids there hated me, tried to run me over with their cars, threw baskets of eggs at my house, called me "Pelua" and did a whole bunch of things to me. Eventually I ignored them, at least in public, but in private, I cried myself to sleep every night, until I discovered a whole bunch of boys who thought I was cute, and they helped me get even.

Now as an adult, I find out that again, I am being bullied by an old high school friend. But you know what? There is a cliche that applies to this situation: they cannot bully you around, unless you let them.

The truth is, your health and your well being can only be affected by one person, you. If you let them get to you, it is not their fault, it is yours. Don't let them win.

I have spent a long time blaming others for my unhappiness...they called me fat, they said I was ugly, they said I am stupid. In the end, it is only truth if you believe it. And if you believe it, they win.

Keep trying.

Health, nutrition and exercise

2008-08-18T11:38:00.002-04:30

Today I decided to start a new routine. Although I am exercising a minimum of one hour a day, three days a week, I decided that was not enough. I have been paying for a membership to a health and exercise site for months, seems logical that I should actually try to work out based on what I get from this place.

The site belongs to a famous tv coach, who is well known for her kick ass, take no prisoners type of training. I absolutely love her and I like her because she was fat, and then she lost weight and became a trainer. Although she is too young to know what I am going through at 41, she knows that changing health habits is not easy.

I actually took a look at her meal plan and with some tweaking, I made it more palatable to myself, and had to break some meal choices in half since I do six meals a day, and she does four. But I was able to set up a structure in writing, which includes more exercise and better nutrition. So far today, I had two meals already. I'm not going to lie, they looked very small on the plate, but I am shocked at how satisfied I feel. This is very easy.

My interest in her workouts was the actual exercise. I decided not to concentrate so much on a number on the scale, and focus more on a size of clothing (9-10), a specific look (more strong, healthy and muscular as opposed to chubby), and a feeling (vibrant and awake as opposed to tired and barely awake). I will keep you posted.

Keep trying.

Truly important things in life

2008-08-13T21:39:00.002-04:30

For the last couple of weeks, I have been pondering what the really important things are in life. I have been so obsessed with my weight that I have not counted all the blessings that I do have. I am the mother of the most beautiful, talented and intelligent person I know. I am married to a wonderful man and excellent father. I am a homeowner, I have a BA in Marketing and most people say that I am really smart. I have all my extremities, both my eyes and ears, I can smell and taste and most of the time I can feel things. I am "normal" by most standards.

I was reminded a few days ago how shallow people are some times, and how we some times become even more shallow. Just when I was starting to make peace with the person I am today, weight and all, people make comments about my hair, my earrings (or lack of), my choice of clothes, and everything else. As I believe, like Mary Poppins, that I should never explain anything, I should be happy and move on. But I needed to get some things off my chest and none of the people involved in this little incident read this (although I wish they would), so here I go.

First of all, the average person bases their point of view on their own experience. This is the easiest way to explain why some people think I am negative, even on days when I am happy. I don't have time to sit and be stupid happy all day, sorry, that is not me. I have been chastised about the earring thing all my life, and the joke is, I actually love earrings. Unfortunately, depending on the alloy used, I tend to get allergic reactions, even from jewelry that is supposed to be not allergenic (or however you say that). More often than not I avoid them, because I don't want to be scratching my earlobes off for a week or two. Kill me for thinking about my convenience. I chopped my hair off because I sweat a lot, and I live in a tropical island. If my husband would allow me, I would have gone bald. But that was the only thing he begged me not to do, and I decided to please him. Again, this is a convenience issue and not the crazy antics of a depressed woman. Excuse me for thinking, again, about my own convenience.

Ironically enough, I was accused of wearing no make up to an occasion when I was wearing more make up than I usually do. However, I had gone to work that day at 3:00 AM in the morning, and I looked tired....really, I would think that the fact that I fell asleep on the way there would have tipped you off. Finally, this is the one thing I want to say about all this. If you spent a couple of hours talking about my hair, my make up, my earrings or my looks, your life is more pathetic than mine. Because most of my decisions are based out of convenience and take a few minutes to make. But the fact that you actually took the time, not only to notice it but to bitch about it for 2 minutes or two hours, only goes to show that your life is so empty, you have nothing better to do than bash people that are not even present to defend themselves. And that, to me, is even more pathetic than the fact that I did not wear earrings to a lunch date, or that my hair annoys you. GET A LIFE, and let me enjoy mine.

There, now that I got it all out of my system, I feel much better. But now, for my honest opinion on the topic. After the anger gave way to laughter, I can truly say, that I could care less about what people think about me. If they are not taking the time to talk to me, instead of behind my back, they can think what they want, because they are not my friends. And to those friends who told me what end was up, I truly do appreciate your concern. But the fact of the matter is, I am not unhappy or depressed, I do things for myself, and not for others to approve, and if you love me, you either take me as I am, or you let me be...which is what I usually do about what I think about you. LOVE YA.

Returning to basic: what is the goal and the motivation

2008-08-10T19:39:00.002-04:30

I need to take this seriously if I want to succeed. And in order to succeed I need to remember why I started this to begin with. The motivation: a six week trip to Italy in the summer of 2009. My goals for the next 12 months are simple:
1) To spend as much time as possible with my daughter since this is her last year of high school, so that next year I can release her to the world without feeling overwhelm or guilty for what I did not do.
2) To loose 5 pounds a month for the next 10 months so that I go to Italy weighting 150 pounds (or less).
3) To bring my credit score to over 700, which is where it was before I purchased the house and my debt to income ration went nuts.

It is very easy to forget that everything I do is in order to accomplish one of those goals. So I need to sit back and remember why I did this, and in the process, go back to the way my life should be.

A lot of people think that being negative and saying no is the same thing. Lately, I have been saying no to a lot of things. It has nothing to do with being negative, it has everything to do with being able to accomplish my goals. Women, specially Latin women, have a tendency to say yes to everything and then complain that they have too much going on. I learned that the hard way. Now, I pick and choose what I say yes to, and in the process, I set limits on what I will and will not do. It is really simple, if the action does not help one of those three goals, the answer is NO.

Keep trying.

The lesson learned in taking my time

2008-08-08T10:31:00.002-04:30

This week I did not play tennis. I walked one day this week, so far. I did my arm exercise routine once this week. I live in a town that is going through some Water Company restructuring, which means that the water supply has been limited. It is ninety something degree weather and I don't know when we have water or not so I try to sweat as little as possible.

In essence, I had to take is slow this week. I needed that. It seems that even though I am not working right now, I am more stressed than ever. I am studying for a college application test, working on starting an online business, looking for part-time work, fixing my credit, fixing my car, fixing myself....doing, doing, and more doing. Where is the joy in that?

This week I had to take it slow because I had a bad wrist and the problem with the water supply. Today I realized that I have enjoyed this week more than most. I was able to go through my wardrobe and get ready for the season, I read some magazines, finished a couple of books and actually ate at home more often than not. Life has been good this week. Even with the short water supply, I have managed to wash four loads of laundry. I have done some things that I truly like and have made life changing decisions, like getting rid of a "friend" that was draining my energy or instead of pouncing on an inept Education Board member, write a letter, let it rest and now work on a strategy to improve my daughter's education system. Life is challenging, but if you don't take a step back every once in a while, you miss all the opportunities.

Oh, and by the way, I have not gained a pound this week. So the rest did not become a mayor setback, except for maybe my backhand. Keep trying.

Challenges are a part of life

2008-08-06T22:44:00.002-04:30

Last week I hurt my left wrist. Not a good thing when you are left handed. I had to stop playing tennis and I have a hard time driving, writing or anything else. But I needed to keep doing what I love, so here I am.

Challenges are there for a reason, to test how much you want it. On Monday I walked for about 20 minutes. In the Puerto Rico heat, that was enough. Today I did a 15 minute arm workout. It might not seem like a lot, but I am trying to build strength in my muscles slowly, in order to make up for the lack of exercise.

Writing hurts a little though, so I might not do that as much for the next seven to ten days. But I can assure you, I will find ways to work out, because that is what I want, health.

Keep trying.

Keep trying - why is it important

2008-07-31T08:02:00.002-04:30

Every time I write a post, the last line says, keep trying. Do you know why this is so?

Many times we start a new workout routine or a new diet, or make healthy changes. More often than not, we do not see changes right away. In my particular situation, I have only seen a couple of pounds in over six months. Changes, like beauty, are in the eye of the beholder.

One day I was taking a shower, absent minded as usual. When I was soaping up my legs, I noticed something. My calves were like rocks. I mean, really, you could not carve better calves out of marble. That was the first time, in over six months that I actually noticed my calves. And then, I noticed other things.

I am not as tired as I used to be. When I go play tennis with my friends, I actually last longer, and my body hurts less. I am in a very grumpy mood if I don't do anything "athletic" one day. My arms are looking better, my skin is great and I am hungry for real food ALL the time.

So, I only lost two pounds. But health wise, I feel like a new person. In fact, my back does not hurt as much when I get out of bed. I used to crawl out of bed because I could not stand up. It is amazing how good I feel compared to last year. But I only lost two pounds. Who cares? The reason why I say keep trying is because it is true that the longer you keep at it, the more possibilities that you see and feel the results, and isn't that better than a number on the scale?

Keep trying.

Hope for things to come

2008-07-30T13:38:00.002-04:30

Yesterday was a busy day. I added several elements to my routine, specifically, a glutes workout. It is less than 10 minutes long and it will be included at least twice a week. It is intended to develop the butt muscles and that should make the fat look smaller and not as bad.

We did our usual 3 mile walk yesterday. We settled on some goals. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are for Tennis. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays (or Sundays) for walking. Tomorrow we will add a morning routine to our workouts. Things are looking up for my workout routine.

In my heart of hearts, I know that I am now working out for health and not for weight loss. The benefits of the workouts might include some weight loss, but that is not the goal. Plus, I am trying to enjoy the workouts, instead of having to go through them. This is an improvement over previous attempts of including exercise into my life. And this is something I hope I can pass on to my daughter, to do it for her health, the rest is not as important.

Keep trying.

Lessons from Randy Pausch

2008-07-29T22:08:00.002-04:30

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want".

"Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things".

Randy Pausch and what his legacy means to me

2008-07-28T09:07:00.010-04:30

Yesterday night, as I due every couple of weeks, I checked out Randy Pausch's site and found out that he died on Friday morning. I do not like to read the news, all that negativity is not good for the soul. But that bit of information made me cry. My reaction was that of someone who knew Randy. The truth is, I did not. However, like millions of others, I did see the Last Lecture.

This man was an inspiration to many people. The lecture is about fulfilling your dreams. But it is also about hope and the frailty of life. He was only six years older than me when he passed away. But in his lifetime, he had done so much. And he made every day count.

So now I sit here and think about the fact that I've been talking about not sweating the small stuff in the last couple of days. I also sit here and pray for Randy's wife and three children. But I am also happy in a strange way. You see, Randy Pausch did something that most people don't get to do: he lived to see his legacy. He got to see the impact his last lecture had on people. He got a chance to make some special memories for his children. He prepared, as best he could, for the day that he was no longer going to be there. And for that, we are all greatful. Rest in peace Randy.

And if there ever was a time when my usual last comment is valid, this would be it: keep trying.

Check out Randy Pausch Last Lecture - press here.

The strength of will

2008-07-26T08:59:00.002-04:30

This week has been very productive for the blog and for me. I've posted several times this week. I got back on the bike for 15 minutes, three times this week. I started belly dancing again. I walked quite a bit. I discovered that organizing my day on a list worked, I am averaging 80% accomplished. I am having a good week, and I also had some epiphanies.

1) I am what I look like - if I want to feel better, I should look better. I am not talking about fancy clothes or a ton of make up. I am talking about simple things, like posture, keeping my hair short (because I hate brushing my hair and now you can't tell), wearing earrings and breathing. Yes, it is amazing how much we hold our breath in a single day.

2) Eat 6 meals a day and you will not feel hungry (most of the time). I have only being doing this for two weeks, and it is true that I am concentrating on quantity first to then go to extreme quality. But I've had more fruits and veggies this week than usual. I started eating salmon again and I am drinking more water than ever (and I have always drank a lot of water).

3) Read a lot and enjoy it more. I have always loved to read. But with life getting in the way, I rarely read for entertainment. Now, I only ask to be able to read one chapter a day of a novel. And I am doing very well. Which brings me to my next point...

4) Do a little bit at a time and you will get more done. On my daily list I go by chapters, not try to finish the whole book in two days. Granted, tomorrow is a lazy day, so I will probably read more, but if you break things into really small parts, you can get more done in a weekly basis. I have heard and read all the experts talk about this, but I had never been able to break things in chunks that were comfortable for me. Now I understand how to tailor good ideas to my lifestyle. And it is really encouraging to see how much I am getting done.

5) Do what works for you. There are many good ideas out there. Like the Dalai Lama says "take what you can use and let go of the rest". I'm sure he did not say it like that but the point is, you take advice or ideas or whatever it is, you tailor it to your needs and whatever does not work, discard it. You need to find what works for you. For example, I am not big on going in public right now to exercise. I am very self conscious of looking ridiculous and being clumsy. So, I am well stocked with every possible exercise video and machine I like, and little bit at a time, I am incorporating them into my day. When I feel more relaxed, I can take a class or two. My immediate goal: to loose 20 pounds so I can sign up for spinning classes close to home. Let's see how that goes. I will keep you posted.

Keep trying.

Whatever image issue you have, is all in your head

2008-07-25T19:48:00.002-04:30

Today I was concerned because I was going to an event and was feeling ugly and fat. Then it hit me that the people at this event did not know me when I was skinny. To them I was just another middle aged mom with a little extra weight and very little wrinkles. So why not try to make that person look the best she could look? I put on a red shirt (which makes me look very lively), got a great hat (for sun protection), wore my best jeans and my cutest shoes and was out the door.

Image is all in the head. We spend too many hours trying to look like super models we see in magazines when they don't even look like that all the time. We see a beautiful woman on the street and we want to emulate her. Why? We need to find our own beauty. Define our own strengths.

When I was young, my best feature was my legs. I am short, but my legs were beautiful. I let them go because as I got fatter, they lost their beautiful shape. As of right now, my lower legs look and feel amazing (because of all the walking and exercises that I do) but from the knee up, not so much. So what am I doing? Looking for exercises that will help reshape that area and showing off the lower legs whenever I can. It makes me feel good when people notice them, but it makes me feel even better when I take care of them and make them look fabulous.

Don't waste any more time comparing yourself to other people. If you cannot find many strengths in yourself, look for one. You might have great eyes, or a beautiful neckline, or great skin. Emphasize the one good thing you have on the outside and use all the good things that you have on the inside to get people to notice YOU.

I realize that I am talking about looks and it is a little hypocritical of the person that believes that the inside is what counts. But lately I have come to realize that it is the total package that matters. If you feel good about the image you are showing (and I am not talking about expensive outfits or shoes, but about the traits that make you unique), you will glow. That attracts people to you. Then your personality will keep them glued to you. It is that simple.

Keep trying.

Short term savings might lead to health crisis in the future

2008-07-24T11:09:00.002-04:30

I read somewhere that the recent economic crisis was having a negative impact on the obesity of America. That also holds true for other countries. The simple equation is:

less money = more fat

In essence, people are cutting costs at home by purchasing the wrong foods, thinking that they can survive the economic crunch. As always, humans thinking in the short term and completely ignoring the long term effects of their actions.

I have no problem spending more money on food and making sure that it is high quality. I believe that as the years go by, people might understand more and more what I mean. Yes, it is true that if you purchase cheaper food now, you might save a couple of bucks. But five or ten years from now, you are going to spend a lot more money on medications and treatments that you could have avoided if you pick your groceries based on freshness and quality instead of cheap and plenty.

Another thing that I noticed is how people think that they are saving money by shopping in two or three different supermarkets. They are not considering the money they are spending on gas or the stress that they are causing in their lives by going for two or three shopping trips instead of one. Maybe people should consider the possibility on making different trips on different weeks. The idea of several trips is also bad for the environment, which again, will revert in more expensive things later on.

As more information is gathered about the foods we eat and the types of diseases it generates, we must focus on health now, and try cutting costs in other areas, like maybe getting a bike instead of driving a car, or walking to the shopping court close to home. Those changes will give you more money in your pocket, will help the environment and will make you healthier.

Keep trying.

New haircut, bad attitude, a beginning

2008-07-23T08:27:00.003-04:30

Yesterday I decided to chop all my hair off. I left the hair salon with about 1/4 inch hair on my scalp. Today, after looking at myself in the mirror, for the 100th time, I realized I have too many gray hairs. They upset me, not because they are gray, but because they make me look frumpy. Today, at some point, I shall eliminate them.

When I got my haircut, I felt free. No more worrying about hairdos, and the sweating, the not looking polished. Then it hit me than in order to look like a girl, I have to wear makeup and earrings... not my favorite things. But in a very weird way, I would rather do that, than brush my hair and see it all disappear after the first wind hits me. Isn't that weird? A woman who has never liked to put makeup on, is looking forward to spending too many minutes in front of the mirror, trying to look good. That would probably be because, I am doing it for me, not for anyone else. That is priceless to me.

The haircut did not get the reaction I expected. That came with a price. I did not want to leave the house last night. In fact, I did not want to leave the house today. The thing about having a bad attitude is that you miss out on a lot of great things because of it. So, today, after feeling sorry for myself for a few hours, I am walking to the movie theater to watch a movie, sporting my new hairdo and smiling all the way there. If the endorphins don't get to me, the change in attitude will.

I explained the New haircut...I explained the bad attitude, now for the beginning. Yesterday I started, yet again, a list of things to do today. I called it the Accomplishments. I am doing pretty well so far. Instead of concentrating on the fact that I did not wake up at 6:30 AM as planned, I am celebrating that I did wake up at 7:00 AM, and so far, all the things on the list from 7 - 10 AM are done. I did a couple of things that were supposed to be done later in the day in order to find the half hour I lost and try to stick to the list. Tomorrow I will have yet another list, and I will keep doing it until it becomes a habit (in say, 90 days). In theory, 90 days create a habit. In theory, you should work with what works for you, no matter what anyone says.

A little while back, someone told me that I should not make lists or try to follow a schedule. The result of that was that I have wasted two months of my life and I am at a point in my life when enjoying life means getting more things done, not less. Yesterday I wrote down what I wanted to do today. From now on, if this is what works for me, this is what I am going to do. I apologize if that is not the way other people do things, but I like to see where I'm going instead of trying to wing it. I hope all affected understand.
Keep trying.

2.8 is a beautiful number

2008-07-19T15:06:00.002-04:30

2.8 is the amount in pounds of my weight loss after the first week on my new strategic eating plan - six small meals a day at 7,10,1,4,7 10. I did not concentrate on quality, only on eating at the proper times and listening to my body in order to not overeat. The result, I lost 2.8 pounds in one week.

I understand that according to those in the know, 1 or 2 pounds a week is appropriate and healthy, but I don't believe in cookie-cutter answers. It sounds to me as ridiculous as drinking 8 glasses of water a day, no matter your size. It just does not make sense to me and let me tell you why. A person that weights 400 pounds and goes into a sensible eating plan, like six meals a day, and starts doing 10 minutes of walking a day (because that is how much they can do before they feel like they are going to drop dead) will probably loose more than 2 pounds a week in the beginning. Watch the "Biggest Looser" and you will understand what I mean. If you do all this and get regular checkups from your doctor, I am sure that you will find this to be your new reality until your body gets used to it and then you need to add more exercise or make sure that you are eating the healthiest food combinations possible.

Now I am not saying that because I weighted 205 pounds last Friday, there is a set number of pounds that I can loose. I am just celebrating the obvious joy of loosing a little bit more than I thought I would. And, let's be honest. I would not mind at all if I keep on loosing 2.8 pounds a week for the next 10 or 20 weeks. I would get back to my goal weight in no time if that was possible. We will just have to keep averaging our weight loss and keep an eye on it.

Keep trying.

Changing your eating habits

2008-07-10T19:40:00.002-04:30

I play tennis at least twice a week, with a good friend of mine. This Tuesday, we were talking about eating habits. This would be a good time to mention that my girlfriend is 5' nothing and weights 140 (or so she says). I really don't see any fat in her but she feels she could loose about 20 pounds. That is why she walks an hour every morning and plays tennis at least 5 times a week.

As we are discussing improvements in play and lifestyle, we get into the subject of eating habits. She tells me that if I get into a schedule (6 meals a day at the hours of 7,10,1,4,7 and 10) I should start seeing a difference and that my body is acting out because it feels like it is always on starvation mode. I tell her that when my niece leave on Monday, I will start. Then she proceeds to give me "THE SPEECH".

We all know "the speech". It is when someone gives you a lecture on something that you know well and that you hate getting a speech on. This one was about starting now and not when life is "perfect". And of course, I mentioned that when I quit smoking I just did it. But now, I wanted life to be a little more balanced.

When I got home, I started thinking about "THE SPEECH". And you know what? Too many times we wait for perfect conditions, a better schedule, or a lighter workload, or Monday...whatever, in search of the "perfect" time to do things right, and then, we never get around to it.

So, guess what? Yesterday, I started eating on a schedule. I did not concern myself so much with whether or not it was completely healthy ( although I included yogurt and fruits in my choices). What I was most concerned with was making sure that I got my body used to eating at certain times of the day, and controlling portions based on how full I felt when it was time to eat.

The day was fantastic. I look forward to many days like that. So should you. Keep trying.

Holiday - and I am up early

2008-07-04T09:04:00.002-04:30

I have been trying to take my body back to the original internal clock, which was about 7 AM to 11 PM. This week I have been making it pretty regularly. The first three days of the week, I was in bed by 10 PM and I would wake up at different times, between 5:40 and 6:10 AM. Yesterday I went to bed close to midnight and woke up at 10 to 8 AM. All in all, not a bad week.

Today, however, it is 4th of July. I could have slept in, but I want to keep going and re-training my body. I am looking forward to spending a day in a bikini, in traffic, going to a cool hangout with some old friends...well, everything except for the bikini part. I am nowhere near the size I need to be to wear a bikini. Nothing that a good, long, t-shirt cannot solve. Ironically, when I was 16 and had a great body, it spent most of the summer under a t-shirt as well. Back then I was embarrassed about my curves.... I guess some things never change.

So why am I saying all this. For one, simple reason. No matter where you are in life, or how you feel, don't let that stop you from enjoying each and every day, embarrassment or not. We only get one chance to enjoy the 4th of July of 2008, after that, this day is gone. Enjoy it!!!
Keep trying.

There has to be an easier way to adjust your internal clock

2008-07-01T21:17:00.002-04:30

Here I am, on the second day of my new experiment. For those who know me personally, I have been complaining about my internal clock being out of whack since I started the graveyard shift 6 months ago. I stopped working in May, but I was still staying awake past 11:00 PM. I decided to do a little experiment. For the last couple of days I have been getting up early, not taking a nap and going to bed at 10:00 PM. It seems to be working. It is 9:49 PM and I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.

Last night I went to bed at 10:00 PM and today I woke up at 5:45 AM. I am not going to lie. I was dead tired when I woke up, and there were a couple of times during the day that I wanted to just take a nap, but I persisted. I figured that if I keep this up, eventually I will go back to my normal 6:00 AM to 11:00 PM routine without any clocks or alarms. Wish me luck!
Keep trying.

Working out is really hard?

2008-06-27T07:57:00.003-04:30

Yesterday I went to play tennis with my friends. They beat the tar out of me. This is the first time I go to play and I am sore the next morning.

I do not believe that exercise has to hurt. I know that I will be sore when I use muscles I have not used in a while, but not in pain. That is not the idea and some scientist are with me on that. And even though I do not play well, I love playing tennis. If I am happy, it is good exercise. If I am upset, it is an effective way of dealing with stress. It does not hurt that the courts near my friend's house are in front of the beach, adding a little more ambiance to the scene.

Last night, I was so tired, I even forgot to comment on my thoughts. It is interesting how a decision can impact so many areas of your life. I decided to exercise for health and not for weight. And now, it is harder for me to say no to exercise. Today I have three options: I can go play tennis again, I can go walk 3 1/2 miles, or I can stay home and do NOTHING. I am going to pick one of the first two, and the reason is simple. When I was exercising for weight loss, I really did not care if I missed a workout. I would just go and do more the next day. But now, I am working for my health, and every little bit helps. Does that make sense? What do you think?

Keep trying.

Law school - is that even a possibility?

2008-06-25T23:04:00.001-04:30

Today I was confronted, head first, with a dream I've had since childhood. In passing, I mentioned to some friends that I wanted to go back to school. One of them said that she had been playing with the idea of law school...and the s... hit the fan!

I have wanted this since I was five. Am I really crazy enough to try law school?

YES!!! This life is about taking chances and trying things out of your comfort zone. I've wanted this more than anything in the world. Why the hell not? If I don't at least try to get in, am I going to spend the rest of my life regretting it? I don't know about you, but I am tired of looking from the sidelines while all my friends make their own dreams come true.

I guess what I am saying is, that I am going to study because I am taking the LSAT.

Keep trying.

Setbacks

2008-06-24T23:06:00.002-04:30

Today I had several setbacks, including arguments... funny thing about setbacks is that a few months ago I would have drowned my sorrows in a pack of Kisses, a bag of Milano double stuffed cookies and a gallon of ICE CREAM.

This time, I went for my three mile walk anyway. It cleared my head, and tomorrow, I can decide what to do about the people that pissed me off. Today, I am going to bed on time, without regrets because I was good. Keep trying.

Slow but steady

2008-06-23T15:00:00.003-04:30

Yesterday, I went for a 3 1/2 mile walk that I love to do in the afternoon. It was about 6 PM and my companion and I were talking about the current affairs of the area where we live. We live in a beach town and since it was Sunday, there was a lot of traffic, and a lot of people running around, enjoying the beach and having a good time. They seldom care for the property of the townspeople, which is why some people hate all those "unknowns" running around in their neighborhoods. I figure, if you live in a beach town, you know what the risks are so "grin and bear it". Besides, in a slow economy, at least the businesses are doing well with all the food and drinks those people are buying, so why complain?

As wonderful as the walk was, I felt short of breath during most of the walk. I am working out almost every day, so it was not lack of exercise. I quit smoking over a year ago, so that was not the problem either. There was a lot of cars around, but only for part of the walk, the other half was through a serene area. The problem was something called the Sahara dust. It is one of those things that happen in this world full of climate changes and geographical mysteries. It made me short of breath yesterday, and today I was hopeless. I might as well stay inside today and avoid the same fate.

Staying home allowed me to concentrate on some priorities. The most important priority for me right now, apart from improving my health, is organizing my work area. As I write this now, I am surrounded by paperwork that needs to be filled, books to be read, ideas to be worked on, fans (it is hot in the tropics) and so many articles and pictures that I ripped from magazines to serve as inspiration. The day today seems to have no logic, purpose or accomplishments. But in the process of filing old bills, checking new magazines, organizing my ideas and the contents of those articles, I am moving closer, not only to the goal of organizing my work area, but also to organizing my life. In the end, that is part of the master plan.

So, if the day seems to be slow and you are not getting a lot done, and your health is not the best, do as much as you can and understand that every little bit helps. And who knows, maybe seing the little victories will ispire you to do some bigger ones. Keep trying.

It is important to have a master plan and follow it

2008-06-22T15:37:00.003-04:30

The last couple of months have been very hectic. I had a meltdown, caused, among other things, by my decision to work the night shift. That was a bad idea. It created what I can only describe as a meltdown, mentally, physically. I was exhausted, I could not concentrate and my house and my life was suffering the consequences.

Then, as I had a medical excuse for two weeks from a real doctor, the company fired me because they did not understand the medical excuse. Oh, and by the way, I was fired by email. I know that it is the new millennium but a word of advice for all company owners, have the balls to fire people in person. If it is a telecommuting job and you are thousands of miles away, like in my case, call me until you find me and then fire me. It is bad form to fire someone through email.

The next few weeks were a blur, but included a car crash and a trip to Atlanta, where I saw my gorgeous niece graduate from high school. And then I came back home. With no job and the obvious depression after the layoff, I was out of sorts for a while. Then a couple of things happened that changed everything.

1) My significant other and I had a conversation where we discussed the actual, real possibility of me creating a small company from home. Right now his income can cover most of our expenses. We just have to tighten our belts and be resourceful.

2) I spent Friday reading an e-zine I receive every day, Early to Rise. I highly recommend it. I was reading all the mailings since before I was fired and a thought kept coming back: find what you love to do and figure out a way of making a living out of it. Well, the only thing I KNOW I love more than anything (well, anything except chocolate) is reading. So why can't I make a living reading and writing. The concept for my company started to take shape - a research company. I can take projects based on what people want to research. If you are working on a tight deadline and have no time to research a certain management model, I am your gal. If you are trying to figure out what colleges to send your kid to, but are not sure on where they teach Animal Sciences (we are talking Zoology for the wild animal lovers here, not Veterinary Sciences), I can do the research for you. Ok, the truth is that particular research I am working on right now because that is what my daughter wants to study and that is how I found out that in order to be an expeditioner studying the habitat of wild wolves, requires a college degree that is a little different from the veterinary sciences. The point is that I can take on projects that refer to what I am interested in (which is a lot of stuff) and say no to those that I have no knowledge or interest in. That guarantees a good job and I stand by what I do proudly.

3) My family is backing me up on this particular venture.

4) I also kept reading that you should try out your ideas, even if they are not perfect yet. I understand the concept. You spend so much time trying to make it perfect that you never get anywhere. You spend too much time on the details and you don't take the plunge. That is not going to happen to me anymore.

This is the plan. I am going to concentrate on a master plan that makes me happy. That will include several key concepts: my health, my happiness and my wealth. And I hope you decide to follow me on this adventure. Have a great day and keep trying.